Do you walk out your life in a constant sense of shame, guilt, or not being worthy of anything good? Does depression take over when you least expect it? Then, you're just like me! But there is a way to freedom and to joy and peace and feeling worthy of the good things in life. Yes, once more, God offers the answer. Are we humble enough to accept His plan? How free do you want to be?
God's Plan for Freedom from Shame is something powerful! Looking at Psalm 34 from the Bible as a beginning point, we'll discover the key to real freedom.
Just to put things in a historical context, this psalm is poem. David, the future king of Israel, wrote it when he was faking insanity so that Abimelech would set him free. We’ll focus on the personal application of this beloved piece of Scripture.
Before we read it, take time and pray, asking God to make this a personal thing for you. As you encounter Him through reading the Scripture, may He instruct and encourage you!
Let's look at Psalm 34, verses 1-8:
I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the Lord heard him;
he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.
8 Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
I. SOURCES OF SHAME- OUR SHAME DOESN’T JUST COME FROM OUR UNFAITHFULNESS TO GOD
It’s not just a Biblical concept. It’s also a very personal issue. Many of us have experienced shame due to the circumstances around our birth, our family background (be it economic or social status). What things about your family's history embarrass you or make you uneasy? What stories do you rarely tell? These could be indicators of shame being part of your life.
My mother was 16 and unmarried when she became pregnant with me. My maternal grandmother was so distressed, she had a nervous breakdown and spent some time in an institution (proving once more that even believers can have real life difficulties that aren't easily solved by faith.) The local priest refused to openly perform a wedding ceremony for my parents. He eventually did so begrudgingly with little celebration and even less involvement from either side of the family. At 18, my father was not ready to be one, and without a solid education or interest in it, he began shoveling concrete to help provide for his family. Although he is quite successful now by many standards, this was a job reserved for the lowest and least educated.
All said, perhaps you're like me and your background is rooted in shame.
Let's pick back up and continue in Psalm 34, beginning again at verse 8 and reading through verse 11:
8 Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
9 Oh, fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
10 The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.
11 Come, O children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
II. OUR SHAME ALSO COMES FROM SINS AGAINST US.
Not only can our shame come from our background, shame can and does enter our life through the way others treat us. When you think of interactions with others in your life, were you given encouragement and love? Or were you a burden or even an emotional or verbal punching bag? Correction is one thing, but abuse is something totally different.
Many people in authority sinned against me. Although I was a good student, I was not perfect in attaining grades. I was uninteresting and quiet, neither a trouble maker nor a stand out student. Easy to overlook, young for my age, small and uncoordinated. Teachers' disinterest stung. Friends were few and far between, and my awkwardness made me any easy and ongoing target for neighborhood bullies. Ridicule from other was a regular part of my school day, making me even more introverted and anxious. Some but not all in our extended family were abusive in different ways. Anger was easily expressed and often was out of control. Words were used to tear down rather than build up. I couldn't wait to graduate, break free, and move on.
Perhaps you're like me. My shame also came from things done against me. A word of caution here. As we'll see in the next few verses, retaliation and revenge are not the ways a believer should handle themselves. Look at verses 12-14:
12 What man is there who desires life
and loves many days, that he may see good?
13 Keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking deceit.
14 Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
The hidden benefit in keeping the response in the Lord's hands is when we choose to trust Him instead of taking matters into our own hands, we watch God work on our behalf and our faith is built up.
There's consequences for lack of obedience here. First, we perpetuate evil if we respond in an ungodly manner. This tears down our witness as well as being sinful in and of itself. It also helps erode our faith as disobedience directly moves us away from God's will, chipping away at His authority and place in our lives.
The second consequence is just as powerful: When we take matters into our own hands, we rob God of the glory He deserves. When we do not wait for Him, we communicate to others He is unable or unwilling to be involved in our lives.
There's also a very practical consequence.
How often can we seek after our own good and go our own way, thinking we know what is best. We may even attain it. But are we missing something even better from the hand of our Lord? I believe this is often the case. The self-made man (or woman) only gets what they themselves can provide. We know our God is limitless, so why not place things in His hands and watch what happens! Our God is good- ALL THE TIME!
Verse 15 forward through 22 is great news for those of us who believe the Lord and take Him at His word.
15 The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
and his ears toward their cry.
16 The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.
20 He keeps all his bones;
not one of them is broken.
21 Affliction will slay the wicked,
and those who hate the righteous will be condemned.
22 The Lord redeems the life of his servants;
none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned.
The Lord hears our cries. He is near to the broken hearted. And there is no condemnation for us. It's a very sweet relationship!
So far, we've seen that our shame can come from our backgrounds, our family of origin and from the sins of others against us.
Yet, there's another place shame comes from- the place that causes us the most trouble of all.
III. OUR SHAME COMES FROM OUR OWN SIN, THE CHOICES WE MAKE THAT HURT PEOPLE AND HURT OURSELVES
Even as I say this, you may be remembering things you’ve done, choices you’ve made that you regret, the embarrassment that comes from those nagging temptations (note that temptation is not sin- it's just temptation to sin), and the pain that comes from ungodly relationships, misuse of power, and many other ways you’ve hurt others.
The shame from what we’ve done to ourselves and others may be the hardest to overcome!
In middle school, I drank a good amount of alcohol, trying to cover my shame from my background, my family, and the things others had done to hurt me. Instead, it only made it worse. I let my anger against others -and even more so myself- destroy relationships and stop them before they even began. I was drenched in shame, as if I was caught in a deep pool under a powerful waterfall I could not free myself from.
Maybe you're like me. Perhaps the things you’ve done- your bad decisions and choices- bring the most shame of all.
In the middle of my shame, dying under an ocean of pain and anger and regret…. I wanted to die.
“BUT JESUS!”
I heard His message which brings forgiveness of sins and an end to a life of bondage to shame!
When I came to believe in Jesus and gave my life away to Him, not only did He forgive me of all my sin, I gained an unexpected benefit. For a full six months, my depression and my shame gave way to joy and a hope for the future!
The truth is, at one time or another, we all have broken our relationship with God by disobedience to His commandments and giving our love to idols that are hollow and lifeless. Our own ego causes us to disobey as we choose to lie, cheat, steal, and take advantage of others. We're disgraced and certainly worthy to be punished and banished from his presence forever. We all deserve an eternity in Hell.
"BUT JESUS!"
Not only does God offer salvation through Jesus Christ alone, He offers a plan for freedom from shame. I'm still learning how to walk this out, but let me share a few hard earned truths.
1- God has Done and Is Doing His Part.
Our God is not just a god of words, He is a god who takes action on our behalf.
Look at Romans 5:6-8 -
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
There are some things only God can do. Thankfully, He just doesn't tell us we are broken, lost, and sinful, He alone provide the solution to the problem. And our God continues to change us from within as we yield ourselves to Him. This process continues throughout our lives as we press into loving Him and obeying Him.
God's word in the Holy Bible reaffirms our standing before Him once we believe. Through His declaration, He reminds us of who we are and how He sees us. Read these three verses in Psalm 103, verses 10-13. It's one of many verses that speak loudly to us.
10 He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
13 As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
The Book of Romans states it bluntly: “For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” (Chapter 10, verse 11)
He is our good, good- shall I say it again?- good Father! The God of love, mercy, compassion, and forgiveness.
God does his part, and we must do ours.
2. We Must Do Our Part.
We have a responsibility in our Freedom. Not to earn it but to walk in it!
We must take Him at His Word, choosing to believe what He says. The solution is in believing God for what He says- including believing our new identity in Christ! God says we are free from shame and that He removes us from our sin.
This is first a battle for our mind! Then it’s a battle of our will. Today we talk a lot about Identity.
But, what is YOUR Identity? For example, “Are you an alcoholic?” OR “Are you a Christian who struggles with alcohol?” Your answer reveals much about how you view God and how you see yourself!
We MUST choose to praise Him! (Look back at the first three verses of Psalm 34) There’s something powerful about praise. Maybe it is because it takes our minds off ourselves.
When we pray, do we begin with a time of Acknowledging Who God Is- His goodness, love, mercy, faithfulness etc.? Do we have hearts and words to express Thanksgiving? Or do we go right into a mode of need or even complaint? Our God is enough or He is not.
This is just like Peter stepping out of the boat into the waves to reach Jesus: " Save me from myself!" You can almost hear the words come out of his mouth as you read the account in Matthew 14. We step out in faith to the new life, trusting in Jesus- and then the enemy moves into attack. We can fall into old patterns of sin… and old patterns of thinking!
We may hold onto anger, hate, fear, perhaps even toward God. It’s easier and better to confess the state of your soul or that sin to the Lord and be cleansed than it is to justify your choices and argue with God, creating even more tension within yourself.
We must continue to look to Him. In the world, when we’ve hurt someone, it’s difficult to look into their eyes. Yet, God is not like man. When we look deeply at Him, He reminds us that our faces will NEVER be covered with shame!
Maybe you just can't forgive yourself. Are you better than God who has already forgiven you once you come to Him?
Our church has offered a program from the U.K. called The Alpha Course. It's incredible! Our time in the series has driven this potion home extremely well: OUR VALUE IS SET BY GOD! - He sent Jesus to pay the penalty for your sins by dying on the cross. That is how much you are loved.
Look at God's words in Isaiah 43: 18-19, 25.
18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
25 “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
For God’s sake? What does that mean? It means we'd be so thankful that we would make His name known wherever we go. This is the Great Commission in its simplest terms.
When Satan reminds us of our past or tempts us to sin, be aware it means the battle is on! Remind him of his defeat. And then remind yourself of your future:
Romans 2:6-10-
6 God “will repay each person according to what they have done.” 7 To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. 8 But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. 9 There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; 10 but glory, honor and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.
We are clean and whole in Jesus!
We may have a broken past. We may be seeped in shame, like tea in boiling water!
Our shame may come from our backgrounds, our family of origin and those stories we never tell. Our shame may come from the sins of other people against us. The sins that weigh us down may be our own sin, our disobedience to God when we live in ways that don't please Him. It may come from the choices we make and the temptations we face.
"BUT JESUS!"
We may have a broken past. We way even have a difficult present. But we do not have a broken future!
Can I hear an "AMEN!"?
Let's praise God for His plan for freedom to shame as we walk this out together.
