Waves of Sadness

I had such hope for reconciliation between some folks I know. Their conflicts seemed endless, and the misunderstandings between them went on and on. Didn't expect the impact on me. But it is real. I know the Lord will heal me as I pray and wait and watch. My heart wishes that each person involved could see the other just like God sees them: imperfect but forgiven and worthy of love. If they could only let go of offenses. Then maybe forgiveness could flow, and they would be free instead of held captive by bitterness. In the meantime, it hurts them, and it hurts me.

The Beatles Carry That Weight

Were you a fan of Peter Jackson's epic Get Back? I was! There has probably never been as successful a songwriting duo as Paul McCartney and John Lennon nor a pop group as beloved. After all these years, The Beatles still rock. Here's another documentary that might be worth your time, The Beatles: Carry That Weight. 

The Beatles' epic Carry That Weight holds some harrowing lyrics-

"Boy, you're gonna carry that weight

Carry that weight a long time

Boy, you're gonna carry that weight"

The ups and downs up the group are an epic story with a rather tragic ending. Our own stories carry that same potential. The burden of life's difficulties and our shortcoming weigh heavily. I know they do on me when I fall flat on my face or think backwards about how I've fallen short. But there's hope. When the weight of sin is too hard to bear, Jesus alone offers the solution to the problem. His words echo in my ears, 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

These words found in the Bible's book of Matthew give me hope and an invitation to find lasting peace as I look to Jesus, God in the flesh whose sacrifice of death on the cross and resurrection from the dead bring me life as I accept Him as the payment due for my sin and turn away from it. The offer still stands two thousand years later. In this Christmas season, it's the gift of eternal life that is offered to you. Do you need it? Absolutely. Do you want it? The choice is yours.

The Ultimate Victory

Now after the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. Suddenly there was a severe earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descending from heaven came and rolled away the stone and sat on it.  His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow.  The guards were shaken and became like dead men because they were so afraid of him. But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified.  He is not here, for he has been raised, just as he said. Come and see the place where he was lying.  Then go quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead. He is going ahead of you into Galilee. You will see him there.’ Listen, I have told you!” So they left the tomb quickly, with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. But Jesus met them, saying, “Greetings!” They came to him, held on to his feet and worshiped him.  Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee. They will see me there.”

While they were going, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests everything that had happened.  After they had assembled with the elders and formed a plan, they gave a large sum of money to the soldiers, telling them, “You are to say, ‘His disciples came at night and stole his body while we were asleep.’  If this matter is heard before the governor, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble.” So they took the money and did as they were instructed. And this story is told among the Jews to this day. 

So the eleven disciples went to Galilee to the mountain Jesus had designated. When they saw him, they worshiped him, but some doubted. Then Jesus came up and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” 

(From the Bible's book of Matthew, Chapter 28.)

The Ultimate Test of Forgiveness

As they led him away, they seized Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country. They placed the cross on his back and made him carry it behind Jesus.  A great number of the people followed him, among them women who were mourning and wailing for him. But Jesus turned to them and said, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me, but weep for yourselves and for your children. For this is certain: The days are coming when they will say, ‘Blessed are the barren, the wombs that never bore children, and the breasts that never nursed!’ Then they will begin to say to the mountains, ‘Fall on us!’ and to the hills, ‘Cover us!’  For if such things are done when the wood is green, what will happen when it is dry?” 

Two other criminals were also led away to be executed with him.  So when they came to the place that is called “The Skull,” they crucified him there, along with the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. But Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” Then they threw dice to divide his clothes. The people also stood there watching, but the leaders ridiculed him, saying, “He saved others. Let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, his chosen one!”  The soldiers also mocked him, coming up and offering him sour wine,  and saying, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself!” There was also an inscription over him, “This is the king of the Jews.”

One of the criminals who was hanging there railed at him, saying, “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!” But the other rebuked him, saying, “Don’t you fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we rightly so, for we are getting what we deserve for what we did, but this man has done nothing wrong.”  Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come in your kingdom.” And Jesus said to him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” 

It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, because the sun’s light failed. The temple curtain was torn in two. Then Jesus, calling out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!” And after he said this he breathed his last.

Now when the centurion saw what had happened, he praised God and said, “Certainly this man was innocent!”  And all the crowds that had assembled for this spectacle, when they saw what had taken place, returned home beating their breasts. And all those who knew Jesus stood at a distance, and the women who had followed him from Galilee saw these things.

(From the Bible's book of Luke, Chapter 23:26-49)

Breaking Free

In a time and season such as this, it feels right and necessary to talk about forgiveness. Unfortunately, the human condition fights against actually forgiving each other. Yet, to not choose forgiveness is to put ourselves in a prison of our own making. One we cannot break out of unless God intervenes on our behalf as we choose to step out in faith.

Choosing forgiveness is one of the most difficult things anyone can do. Sometimes, it is a constant choice, one we make daily. Maybe you are just like me. The slightest hardened thought toward those who have offended me, the least twinge when I remember the past without having hope for a new future, and I find myself thinking I am back at square one in being free. But the truth is, forgiveness is a major work from God that takes more time than we'd like.  

Let me say this clearly: Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone back into our lives. Sometimes that is not desired or even possible or safe. The loss of relationship can be a natural and necessary consequence of doing wrong.

If I'm hurt, how can I be free? Certainly, if I only look at the end result, it may utterly and totally impossible to be released from the pain. It always takes time. Nothing good happens without process.

I've been thinking about Jesus and his life and earth, the sacrifice of it all, being God in the flesh, choosing to give up heaven in order to redeem man, and what it cost Him to do so: death on a cross. A death without dignity, instead one of shame. One that took the very power of God to accomplish.

His life was filled with seeming contradictions. Accessible to children but strong enough to confront those who offended the name of God by their lives and words and actions. Willing to let a friend die to the scorn and disappointment of the dead man's siblings but powerful enough to raise him from the dead. Bold and blunt as John the Baptist proclaiming repentance to the masses, not always patient with those who followed him. All done by the power of God.

Jesus was willing to change water to the finest of wines to aid in a wedding celebration. (Love that part of Him!) And willing to ask the Father to forgive those who cruficied Him on two wooden logs while these same executioners slandered the very One who laid down his life for them. Again, by the power of God. Interesting that forgiveness was the last thing He did on the cross, and it was probably the hardest.

There it is: it is by the very power of God Himself that we choose forgiveness and let God do his work in us to accomplish it. The process and end result is His work; the obedience to want to forgive, asking Him for strength to walk in it- and be sensitive and honest when we struggle to be free- belongs to us. His work, our obedience. Like all of life, we cannot do it without Him. It's prideful and foolish to think we can, and it's very unwise and ungodly to live in bitterness and hatred but so easy to do.

Jesus' own words speak of the importance of forgiveness and why we must do so. Look at Matthew chapter 18:  “For this reason, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves.  As he began settling his accounts, a man who owed ten thousand talents was brought to him.  Because he was not able to repay it, the lord ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, children, and whatever he possessed, and repayment to be made.  Then the slave threw himself to the ground before him, saying, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you everything.’  The lord had compassion on that slave and released him, and forgave him the debt.  After he went out, that same slave found one of his fellow slaves who owed him one hundred silver coins. So he grabbed him by the throat and started to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe me!’  Then his fellow slave threw himself down and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you.’  But he refused. Instead, he went out and threw him in prison until he repaid the debt.  When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were very upset and went and told their lord everything that had taken place.  Then his lord called the first slave and said to him, ‘Evil slave! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me!  Should you not have shown mercy to your fellow slave, just as I showed it to you?’  And in anger his lord turned him over to the prison guards to torture him until he repaid all he owed.  So also my heavenly Father will do to you, if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Help us, help me, Heavenly Father, to rest in your love and to trust in your work to help me to forgive. I want to, but I cannot do it on my own. Set me free from the prison others have created within me by their words and actions and my response to them.

Broken Man and Falling Plates

Broken and repaired. Do not miss this powerful video, below. If you've been there- and I know I have- you'll want to see this train of thought from an entirely new perspective. It's good for the soul that's aching- the one that's yearning, broken, and ready for a fresh start.

Can't Say

This post is deliberately being written and positioned well after the fact, after the events for a reason. I just can't say much other then this: I ran into a man who had caused my family tremendous harm over several years. I've been working on forgiveness- which means choosing to forgive and asking God to complete the work in me. I guess God has made progress. I was able to greet him, talk for a moment, and move on.

One of my favorite restaurants closed this week. It was a place I was able to go to in relative quiet and work, study, write, and pray. The last time I lost my place like this, it was expected, but this was not at all. No notice. Absolutely nothing. Zero. Just an empty shell of a restaurant building- now all it holds is great memories of friends and family gathered together to enjoy wonderful food.

I wonder what God is doing...

Perfect Abs Among the Scars

Perfect abs. What guy doesn't want them? I certainly do, but I can't. Is it laziness? No. Is it lack of results regardless of how hard I work? No. Eating the wrong foods? Well, even though that's true, it's not the reason. Due to some botched surgery years ago when I was a child, I have a very deep, long, and ugly scar- and not even close to a straight line at that- just underneath my belly button, leaving lumps when it would have been smooth. It's a scar that I really hate. It always reminds me of being less than perfect, a somewhat embarrassing mark on a less than perfect man, less than perfect life. 

I guess its also a sign of survival. We all have scars. Some are obvious for the world to see. Some are hidden. Some are not even physical but emotional or mental. I have those, too. But I am encouraged! I've been reading through the Gospel of Mark. Reading how Jesus came and healed. Jesus healed the woman who had been bleeding for twelve years. Doctors couldn't help her, and she'd spent all her money. In just touching the hem of his clothes, she was healed in an instant- and she knew it.

When he asks the crowd, "Who touched my clothes?", the woman came to him, admitting it was her. I love his response to the poor, frightened, woman who had encountered the One True God in the flesh: "Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." What a wonderful, merciful, God who sent His Son not just to pay the price for our sins but also to give us peace and free us from our suffering! 

Most people who encountered Jesus and were healed went on to tell many people about Him and about the glories of a God who is personal, powerful, and active. And I guess that includes me as well. His love has covered over my sin, given me forgiveness,  hope, a future, and brought healing to the wounds and sin of others against me in my life! 

On a good day, my scars now remind me of what I have survived- both those easy to see scars and those stamped on my heart and mind. They remind me of His goodness, His mercy, His love, in a world gone crazy. How can I not tell others about Him with joy?

Prison Break

Choosing forgiveness is one of the most difficult things anyone can do. Make no mistake, it is a constant choice. Maybe you are just like me. The slightest hardened thought toward those who have offended me, the least twinge when I remember the past without having hope for a new future, and I find myself thinking I am back at square one in being free. But the truth is, forgiveness is a work from God that takes time. A lot of time.

How can I be free? Certainly, if I only look at the end result, it may utterly and totally impossible to be released from the pain.

I've been thinking about Jesus and his life and earth, the sacrifice of it all, being God in the flesh, choosing to give up heaven in order to redeem man, and what it cost Him to do so: death on a cross. A death without dignity, instead one of shame. One that took the very power of God to accomplish.

His life was filled with seeming contradictions. Accessible to children but strong enough to confront those who offended the name of God by their lives and words and actions. Willing to let a friend die to the scorn and disappointment of the dead man's siblings but powerful enough to raise him from the dead. Bold and blunt as John the Baptist proclaiming repentance to the masses, not always patient with those who followed him. All done by the power of God.

Jesus was willing to change water to the finest of wines to aid in a wedding celebration. (Love that part of Him!) And willing to ask the Father to forgive those who cruficied Him on two wooden logs while these same executioners slandered the very One who laid down his life for them. Again, by the power of God. Interesting that forgiveness was the last thing He did on the cross, and it was probably the hardest.

There it is: it is by the very power of God Himself that we choose forgiveness and let God do his work in us to accomplish it. The process and end result is His work; the obedience to want to forgive, asking Him for strength to walk in it- and be sensitive and honest when we struggle to be free- belongs to us. His work, our obedience. Like all of life, we cannot do it without Him. It's prideful and foolish to think we can, and it's very unwise and ungodly to live in bitterness and hatred but so easy to do.

Help us, help me, Heavenly Father, to rest in your love and to trust in your work to help me to forgive. I want to, but I cannot do it on my own. Set me free from the prison others have created within me by their words and actions and my response to them.