What's an Imagineer to do when the suits at the Walt Disney Company issue a mandate for a popular attraction to receive a layover using one of the company's seemingly endless, hot, new Intellectual Properties? Be it Marvel the latest Pixar movie, or just a savvy move to be more politically sensitive, those Imagineers have to take on the project to stay employed. They try to do the best they can do even if it is usually with a limited budget and a lot of pressure. A lot of pressure.
The suits see the end result of these projects as fresh visibility and marketing potential at a lower investment than designing a whole new attraction with the sum potentially equaling much greater income from the turnstile clicks and sale of plush toys, apparel, trinkets, and gadgets.
Looking through the lens of the accountant's very popular Bargain Basement Imagineering mindset, why create new and fresh when you can fall back on the incredible artistic expertise of those who came before you? (Or the suits force their design teams to go in the opposite direction and create a park so cheap it take billions of dollars to correct the mistake. California Adventure and the Walt Disney Studios Paris prove that the public is smarter than Disney gives them credit for. It's always better to do it right the first time. Look at DCA's Bargain Basement Imagineering in detail here.)
But the new math doesn't always add up! Sometimes, what came before it was greater and better designed than the newer end result. From Disneyland to Epcot, California Adventure to Disneyland Paris, and Hong Kong Disneyland to Tokyo Disneysea, no park is immune to the temptation to engage the question of the equation.
Does a layover strengthen or lessen the image and the brand of the Company compared to what came before it? Or, from a guest and theme park fan perspective, which attraction version is better?
Let's take a look at some Disney Math. We'll travel around the globe in no particular order. We'll start with an easy one...
Enchanted Tiki Room > Under New Management
One of the Magic Kingdom's earliest "improvements". The new version was crass instead of classy, charming, and elegant. Aladdin's Iago is not a lovable character. Pretty straightforward. In this case, the old is clearly better than the newer.
Swiss Family Tree House > Tarzan's Treehouse> Encanto?
Imagineer John Hench's art for Disneyland's tree was stunning and mysterious. The reality was an all time old school favorite. Tony Baxter saved the tree from Disneyland's one time President Paul Pressler's shop, but it just wasn't as charming. How will the new rumored Encanto makeover be received? Will it matter?
Submarine Voyage > Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage
Almost the same story as above it seems. What did Pressler have against Disneyland?
Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout = Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
I hate to admit this one. I love the original and best version at Disney's Hollywood Studios but... the Audio-Animatronic Rocket sets the bar pretty high, making up for the characters on a screen. The flavor of each is so different: one is irreverent, one spooky and mysterious. In each of the California versions, the building is equally unappealing. I call it a tie.
Journey into Imagination > Journey into Imagination with Figment > Journey into Your Imagination
Along with Peter Pan's Flight, the original is one of the most beloved adventures ever created. Many of the attractions in this competition might be worth arguing about, but if you don't agree here, I may have to consider your sanity. What's the hold up on a new version? Apparently, no, they cannot imagine, too.
Pirates of the Caribbean > with Captain Jack Sparrow > Redd's Auction
For what it is, the addition of Captain Jack was as good as it could get. Redd, on the other hand, was an embarrassment. Chalk one up to pirates that pay for what they plunder. Ridiculous.
Countdown to Extinction > Dinosaur
The new generic name should say it all. Now with broken effects and underwhelming lighting. Can anyone say Disco Yeti?
Goofy's Sky School > Mulholland Madness
Theming goes a long way but not too much in this reimagined wild mouse carnival coaster from California Adventure's opening day. A definite placeholder in either version. Unfortunately, in any form, it is a new low for Disney Imagineering.
California Screamin' > Incredicoaster
Take one great unthemed coaster and force-feed an overlay of one of Pixar's best movies. Go all the way or leave it alone, but do not insult us with babies on a stick and call it themed.
Say goodbye to "edutainment" and hello to the cutest clownfish ever. The replacement for a great attraction should have been a separate dark ride within the pavilion and not its replacement.
Disney California Adventure 2.0 > DCA 3.0 > DCA 1.0
Version two was a theme park worthy of the Disney name. Yes, there was still room for improvement, but the Imagineers were given freedom to create something pretty special. Somewhere along the line, the suits moved backwards. Will the park bounce back? Avengers Campus is a neutral at best, so it's hard to say.
Monsters Inc > Superstar Limo
When you get off a Disney attraction and can't really help but wonder what the Imagineers were thinking, you know it's a mistake. Superstar Limo is the poster child for a park everyone rightfully made fun of. Eisner's folly. But not his worst misstep.
Haunted Mansion = Haunted Mansion Holiday- The Nightmare Before Christmas
Personally, I prefer the Marc Davis/Rolly Crump/Yale Gracey original version over the Tim Burton inspired makeover. Yet, it's hard to deny that the holiday version is wonderfully inspired and executed with wit and elegance. When a holiday layover feels like a brand new and excellent attraction, it's a win for park guests.
Space Mountain> Hyperspace Mountain > Ghost Galaxy
Version one of the Tomorrowland classic is beloved for a reason and duplicated the world over. It's especially difficult to appreciate Disneyland Paris' Hyperspace Mountain/Mission Two in light of the fact the Jules Verne inspired journey in Discoveryland was one of my favorite attractions ever.
Jungle Cruise > Jingle Cruise
Floating Christmas presents does not equate to excellence or worthiness of a holiday makeover. Next.
Tom Sawyer Island = Pirates Lair
Pirates Lair. Hmmm. Intriguing idea and very well done, but after visiting the Magic Kingdom's version of the island, I prefer the original Disneyland attraction back when the fort and everything else was maintained and opened. The Imagineers did some excellent work on the revision, however.
El Rio del Tiempo > Gran Fiesta Tour
There was no turning back it seemed after the conversion to a Donald Duck focused attraction. World Showcase and all of EPCOT Center lost its soul when the characters invaded. There had to be a better solution.
Frozen = Maelstrom
So, I'll follow that with a contradiction. Frozen Ever After has grown on me. What's not to love about Olaf? On the other hand, I hate projected face animatronics- and I'm sure Tokyo Disneysea's Frozen attraction will far outshine what's been done Stateside for Disney's biggest moneymaker in decades. Maelstrom was an original. And who doesn't love trolls?
Universe of Energy > Ellen's Energy Adventure
Let's pander to the lowest common denominator and lose the quasi scientific angle. What is this, an attraction from Disney's Hollywood Studios? I like Ellen, but not in this.
Test Track 1.0 > 2.0
True to Epcot Center edutainment, if something had to replace World of Motion, this was a good fit as any. The "test dummy" crash scene was a piece of perfect Imagineering meets educational aspect. It's fun and fully in theme. A must do every trip. Tron Track is just not as good.
Flik's Flyers > Inside Out: Emotional Whirlwind
New rule of thumb: The longer the name, the more recently it was created. The surrounding area of Flik's Fun Fair was sweet and charming. Not so at Pixar Pier. Someone once suggested this ride should have been named "Mood Swings". Perfectly describes DCA 2.0 to what the park is becoming under current leadership.
Soarin' > Soaring Over the World
The California original was created by those who loved the Golden State. The newer version seems to clearly be one created by management. Less heart, less charm, and an awkwardly bent Eiffel Tower. That had to be painful.
Buzz Lightyear> Ant-Man and Wasp Nano Battle!
Let's force a Marvel property anywhere we can. How about Hong Kong where we're free to do anything. Who doesn't like Paul Rudd? But something else could have been created with one of the more humorous Marvel superheroes.
Snow White's Enchanted Wish > Snow White's Adventures
It was time for Walt's first major animated hit to have a ride with cutting edge special effects. It was once dark and brooding. Now, there's light at the end of the tunnel- and it's not the train from Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. A success with minor quibbles.
Stormrider> Nemo and Friends Searider Tokyo Disneysea
The character infusion hits the world's most luxuriously themed and respected theme park. Was it even necessary?
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In the long term, these lesser products cheapen the Disney brand and relegate the often brilliant Imagineers to the lowest level of themed entertainment.
The next big assessment will be whether or not Disneyland and the Imagineers can pull off a very culturally sensitive remake of a beloved attraction. Yes, I think Tiana definitely deserves her own brand new ride. But the question remains for now: Will The Princess and the Frog makeover of Splash Mountain be a home run or an also ran?
One last and final equation for now:
Anything > Walt Disney Studios Paris 1.0
(Concept art copyright The Walt Disney Company.)
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