Conquering Seasonal Depression

The seasonal blues, the Christmas depression, is much more common than we would want to admit. Especially as men. I've gone in and out of this most of my life. Yet, I've learned some tricks to help me conquer it and to keep going. Even as a follower of Jesus, we have to deal with real issues and cannot just act like they don't exist. If you struggle with depression, don't give up! Read on and be encouraged!

Thankfully, discussion about male depression is not as uncommon as it used to be.  We're freer than ever to be who we really are, and that's a good thing. Wintertime is the season where it is triggered in me big time, especially post holidays when life goes back to normal, and Spring seems far away. That said, I have a slight understanding of the ups and downs that can accompany the feeling of things not being 100% "right".

Although its less so than in years past, I have been constantly amazed by the general reluctance of the society and sometimes the faith community to discuss this very human condition. Yet, I have read two very interesting pieces in the New Testament where both the great Apostle Paul and even Jesus himself struggled with despair. Here's a quote from Paul written to the church in Corinth.

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we even despised of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened what we might not rely on ourselves, but on God,who raises the dead." (II Corinthians 1:8-9)

Jesus' words are even more important here, as He is God in the flesh: In the garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion, he says to Peter, James and John, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." (Matthew 26:38)

How much more direct and descriptive can that be?

Personally speaking, it's taken me years to accept the fluctuations that come in life. I've been trained in the Southern California mindset of "Always sunny and free all the time". But life is not like that- which is why I am also so against the prosperity teachers that can populate the Christian airwaves and bookstores. They are a distortion of the truth of who God is and His Word. 

How can I manage and even conquer life's ups and downs when leaning toward depression? A few things I have discovered: One, stay as far away from sin as possible! This will help you- realize that being tempted is NOT the same as sinning. There was something very, very  freeing in that realization. I can be tempted over and over again but I don't have to succumb. Jesus himself was tempted in every way, so I shouldn't feel bad when I'm tempted. Neither should you.

When I'm low, instead of looking toward the things that will seem to meet my needs in the moment but ultimately keep me addicted, I will ask for strength to avoid them. Why add to my problems by doing things I know will cause me to be more deeply depressed later? Be it excess food or alcohol, drugs, illicit sex, gambling, the internet, endless media binging, buying things I don't need etc, the actions which pacify our pain can also be the very ones that keep us captive instead of free. Pain can be a healthy sign that God is still working on my behalf, and there are things He wants to clean up for my own benefit.

Secondly, when my need feels great, when I am sad, or even when I am just craving what I know is ultimately destructive, I am training myself to see that as my clue I need more time with my heavenly father. Time for quiet reflection, prayer, worship, and reading my Bible can bring me back to a peaceful place. I've made the decision that my life belongs to Jesus, so why shouldn't I go right to Him when I know He can and will show tender care for me? He knows everything about me anyway- that's a scary thought at times- so I should look to Him and be 100% honest about where I'm at.

Lastly, I am developing a pattern of choosing to have a thankful heart. This is a choice and this is a battle for control of my thoughts. I am so blessed by God! Yet, how often do I long for more of everything and not be grateful for my life. It will never be perfect or free from want or conflict, so I might as well be as joyful, thankful and at peace as I can be. Again, the story is not over yet.

Years back, there was a brief season of a few months where I even took antidepressants on the advice of my doctor. That helped balance me out when I need it. Others need them as a long term part of their lives. If that's you, please consider it. God uses doctors to heal, too! Keep that in consideration if you struggle.

God is so faithful as we continue to look to Him for hope and strength. May my disclosure and insights help give those of you who struggle some ideas about how to live life well in the midst of difficulty.

Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

Depression and suicide has hit our extended family and friends in the last month. Really. It is heartbreaking to live through and watch the survivors try to piece their lives back together. Are you hearing many more stories about depression and how common it is especially during the holidays? I certainly am!  If you are someone who struggles with depression ( I do!) and even thoughts of ending your own life, don't give up! Read on, be encouraged, and get the help you need.

Thanks to men such as Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, discussion about male depression is not as uncommon as it used to be.  Thankfully. Wintertime is always a season where this sense of overwhelming sadness is triggered in me. This gets worse especially after the holidays when everything goes back to normal, and Spring seems oh so far away. That said, I have a slight understanding of the ups and downs that can accompany the feeling of things not being 100% "right". There is hope!

Although it's less so than in years past, I have been constantly amazed by the general reluctance of the society and sometimes even the faith community to discuss this very common human condition. Yet, I have read two very interesting pieces in the New Testament where both the great Apostle Paul and even Jesus himself struggled with despair. Imagine that! Here's a quote from Paul written to the church in Corinth.

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we even despised of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened what we might not rely on ourselves, but on God,who raises the dead" (II Corinthians 1:8-9).

Jesus' words are even more important here, as He is God in the flesh: In the garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion, he says to Peter, James and John, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Matthew 26:38). Is this not shocking to realize the Son of God and also Christianity's greatest evangelist felt with despair? 

How much more direct and descriptive can that be?

Personally speaking, it's taken me years to accept the fluctuations that come in life. I've been trained in the Southern California mindset of "Always sunny and free all the time". But life is not like that- which is why I am also so against the prosperity teachers that can populate the Christian airwaves and bookstores. Your best life ever? It includes pain, suffering and sorrow. These form our character and help put our priorities into focus us.

It is possible to manage life's ups and downs when dealing with depression. One of the few things I have discovered: First, stay as far away from sin as possible! Instead of looking toward the things that will seem to meet my needs in the moment or distract me from my pain but ultimately keep me addicted, I will ask God for strength to avoid them. The truth is giving in to them only adds  to my problems by doing things I know will cause me to be more deeply depressed later. Be it too much food or alcohol, drugs, illicit sex, gambling, the internet, shopping etc, the actions which numb our pain can also be the very ones that keep us captive instead of free.

Secondly, when my need feels great, when I am sad, or even when I am just craving what I know is ultimately destructive, I am training myself to see that as my clue that I need more peaceful alone time with my heavenly father. Time for quiet reflection, prayer, worship, and reading my Bible will bring me back to a peaceful place if I discipline myself to engage in these essential activities. I've made the decision that my life belongs to Jesus, so I can go right to Him when I know He can and will show tender care for me. He always meets me when I need Him. He never turns away regardless of what I am feeling or what I have done.

Third, develop a pattern of choosing to have a thankful heart. It is a challenge in our culture that continuously tells us we need more to be satisfied. (Isn't that the core message of any advertising?) The next trip, the next purchase, the next relationship will not take away the pain. In fact, they may add to it! Everything we own owns us to some degree, either by the financial investment to purchase it or the time it takes to maintain it. I am so blessed by God! Yet, how often do I long for more of everything and not be grateful for my life. It will never be perfect or free from want or conflict, so I might as well be as joyful, thankful and at peace as I can be. Thankfulness brings hope and a very needed reminder that things do not always stay hard or without the chance for change.

Tears ago, there was a brief season of a few months where I even took  antidepressants on the advice of my doctor. That helped balance me out when I need it. Others need them as a long term part of their lives. If that's you, please consider it. God uses doctors to heal, too! This includes counselors and leaders in the faith community. Keep that in consideration if you struggle.

When all else fails- WAIT. Stop. Rest. Get help. Sleep. Do not take any action to hurt yourself or others. Wait for a new day. I know that when the pain is deep and the depression is overwhelming, everything else in our lives gets blocked from our view. 

A friend sent me this (below). I think you'll find it VERY helpful:

"The Beloved Romans 1:7- 

“To all those in Rome who are loved [beloved] by God and called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." 

Paul says that the saints in Rome, those who have placed their trust in Jesus Christ to save their souls, are loved by God, or more acurately, they are The Beloved. This word beloved is more accurate because it is in the present tense and never ending. Revealing the love from God towards His children. The first 9 uses of this Word in the New Testament is used of how the Father loved Jesus His Son. This should give us insight into how God loves you!    God's Love for His Kids is Unchanging    Unconditional and Unselfish. 

Remember this encouraging and uplifting Truth when you do not feel like the Beloved of God. Pick up the shield of faith that stops the firey missles of the enemy and speak the Truth of God out of your mouth, as the Sword of the Spirit like David did; "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? (Then preach this exhortation to your soul) Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence." 

Father God, You are Present, never leaving me, never forsaking me. Help me to preach the gospel to myself over and over again today, elevating You in my heart and allowing Your Presence to rise in my mind, so that I walk with You morning noon and night, in Jesus name amen ACTION: Be-loved."

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God is faithful as we continue to look to Him for hope and strength. In fact, God so loved YOU that He sent Jesus to earth to die in your place. The baby in the manger grew up to be God's perfect and complete sacrifice for the sins of all who believe in Him. May my disclosure and insights help give you who struggle some ideas about how to live life well in the midst of difficulty.

Hope in a COVID-19 World

COVID-19 and doom and gloom are all around us. News sources make it worse instead of offering hope. How do we thrive when life is just hard? People disappoint us. by their words and actions. Our leaders fail us. We may not understand why God allows something to happen in our lives. We disappoint ourselves- which may be the hardest to deal with of all!

All this is nothing new! But God provides insightful truth and encouragement for us in His Word. The Apostle Paul had to address a struggling church in Corinth, a city known for immense wealth, unrestrained sex, and all other kinds of evil and debauchery. Paul's wise words of encouragement to that church is just as valid today for those who seek to follow Jesus with their whole hearts.

Take a look at 2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.  For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Here, the Apostle Paul is speaking to believers who were living in a world much like ours. Any and every sin was becoming acceptable. Evil was called good and good evil. People were living for the moment and forgetting eternity existed. Believers were persecuted and were a minority. It often seemed as if the world was winning the war, and the church was dying. 

But remember, God will always be on the side of those who seek Him- even if we do not understand what He allows.

Real followers of Christ have always suffered, along with the rest of the culture. There's no guarantee of safety from illness, loss, and death just because of belief in Jesus Christ. He is our example and look what He endured!

But because of what Christians believe, there's additional stress. Particularly in countries where they are in the minority. They endure shame and scorn for being different than their people. Some of them are outcasts within their own families for belonging to Jesus. Many have husbands or wives who are not believers, and they suffer because of that. Some of them give up important and lucrative jobs in order to travel and share the Good News of Jesus, living on faith, trusting God to provide in ways we cannot even imagine. Enduring beatings or being placed in jail because of what they believe, they continue on because of the amazing gift of life through their Lord. It's like reading the book of Acts, how the followers of Jesus lived after He was ascended into Heaven before He one day returns to judge the earth and reward those who have given their lives to Him.

These people are the overlooked, the ignored, the forgotten… but they are not overlooked by God.

Wherever you live on this earth, if you are one who calls yourself Christian and have devoted your life to pleasing Him, be assured you are not forgotten! Let's read that again:

2 Corinthians 4:16-18:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

It's easy to say "Don't lose heart", and it's even easy to read it, but the question remains, how do we practically live it out?

The answer is actually found in the next few verses that follow:

“Inwardly, we are being renewed day by day."  What does this really mean? The Bible tells is two very important truths about who we are, just two chapters apart. In the same letter to the same church in Corinth, Paul tells followers of Jesus that 

1- We are a new creation in Him. God has washed away the past, forgiven us for our sin against Him, and He made us brand new. (2 Corinthians 5:17). 

2- God places his own Holy Spirit within us, and we are being transformed into the image of Jesus. This means we are becoming more like him the longer we continue to follow Him. (2 Corinthians 3:18) These two truths take place simultaneously.

What does this look like? What is the evidence of this happening in our lives? Our priorities change. We begin to love us He loves. We serve others. We take risks as He leads. In other words, we serve Him as not  only our Savior but as one who gives us direction in how He wants us to live. All this is a result of His great love for us and the sacrifice He made, dying on the cross for our sin, paying a price we could not pay.

How else can we not lose heart as we endure the struggles in this life? We can keep focused on the riches we have in Jesus now!

• Forgiveness for our sin and The Gift of Eternal Life
• Freedom in Christ- which no man can take away!
• Family in Christ   
• Hope and comfort while we live in this world- and promise for our future!

We also have all the fruit of God's Holy Spirit because He lives inside of each believer in Jesus. This means we have  Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Not only do we have this fruit, we also have The Power of the Holy Spirit and the gifts He gives us to do the work He's called us to do! (I Corinthians 12, Romans 12, Ephesians 4). We don't just get his comforting presence (which we all need- 2 Corinthians 1:1-4) but His Power working through us.

We are rich in faith as we watch God work right in front of our eyes!

There's one more way we can endure hard times, and it may be the most difficult one of our advantages, but it is the most powerful: We must stay focused on the end of the story.

If you’re older, you will understand what I’m about to say. If you’re younger, evaluate my words in the context of Scripture.

Our time on earth goes by so fast- especially when compared to eternity!  So, here's what I recommend as a practical application:

•    Be wise, and keep an eternal focus.
•      Please God at all costs before pleasing men. He is the One you must answer to.
•     Love deeply, and draw people to God. Continue to encourage one another.
•     Know that you are loved by God, and He will not fail you!

What will we have in the future? We look at the end of time and discover that God wins- and so do we!

Look at the Bible's Book of Revelation 21:1-5:

There's a new Heaven and a new Earth: The Apostle John's Vision

"Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea.  I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.  And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

No more tears, death, crying, mourning, or pain. He who overcomes the hardships of life will inherit all this.

We endure until the end- not just for our rewards but to please God!

Do you ever wonder if it's ok to ask God about your future? When reading Matthew 19:27-30, we discover that even Jesus' disciples, his future leaders, would question him about what would happen to them.

 

"Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?” Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first."

There you have it! Even though we face difficulties in this life, we don't have to lose heart. God is on our side! We are new in Christ Jesus- brand new! We are forgiven for our sin against God and each other. We have freedom and life. God's Spirit lives in us to bring comfort, joy, and power to live out life in victory in spite of what happens. And we have a hope for the future- an eternity with Jesus without tears, pain, or suffering. Isn't that alone worth considering His claims to be God in the flesh?

"Save Me From Myself!"

Have you ever heard this painful desperate cry for help? I have- all too many times. And it comes from me. From my mouth. From my mind. From my heart. Many times, I do and speak and think in ways that do not honor God or show Him that I am truly following his commandments. Are you like me? Do you struggle with treating people well or speaking kindly? Do you struggle with lust, greed, envy, addiction, rebellion, or pride? (Don't these all sound like cable television channels that reinforce and event celebrate the bad side of human nature?) With that in mind, the following comments are for those who claim to be followers of Jesus...

In the Bible's letters to the church in Rome, the Apostle Paul's list of what breaks God's heart and what is against His commands is fairly inclusive. If we want to call ourselves Christians (those who are trying to be Christlike and following Him), faith in Him as well as striving to live a life of purity is necessary. Remember, it's an exchange: He gave his life for us- we give Him our lives in return. Living in a godly manner brings him glory. 

There's a better way! 

Keep reading!

18 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of people who suppress the truth by their unrighteousness, 19 because what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world his invisible attributes—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, because they are understood through what has been made. So people are without excuse. 

21 For although they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or give him thanks, but they became futile in their thoughts and their senseless hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for an image resembling mortal human beings or birds or four-footed animals or reptiles. 24 Therefore God gave them over in the desires of their hearts to impurity, to dishonor their bodies among themselves. 25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served the creation rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

26 For this reason God gave them over to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged the natural sexual relations for unnatural ones, 27 and likewise the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed in their passions for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

28 And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what should not be done. 29 They are filled with every kind of unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, malice. They are rife with envy, murder, strife, deceit, hostility. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, contrivers of all sorts of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 senseless, covenant-breakers, heartless, ruthless. 32 Although they fully know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but also approve of those who practice them.

There is hope in Jesus!

The words of the Apostle Paul sting! Those who are believers in Jesus Christ the King (like me) fall short of His Holiness every day. Where is my hope? And where is there hope for those people who do not know Him yet? This list means it is impossible to please God by our own strength. And that's the point. And it directs us to God for salvation and hope. Look earlier in the chapter at verses 16 and 17:


"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is God’s power for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For the righteousness of God is revealed in the gospel from faith to faith, just as it is written, “The righteous by faith will live.”

What is the Gospel? It's the Good News that Jesus came to the earth in human form to pay the price for our sins. Those who believe that He died and was resurrected, who trust in Him for the forgiveness of their sins, will be saved from an eternity in Hell and instead will enjoy Him in Heaven forever. This message is truly good news! It doesn't matter what you've done in the past- or what you struggle against presently. This gift is God's offer to you - because He knows a perfect and sinless life is not possible. But don't give up!

Perhaps my sin may be different than your sin. The consequences of our choices may even be different, but God sees them all as actions, words, and thoughts that separate us from Him. So... before you judge me or focus on my sin (and before I judge you and single you out for yours), let's take a moment to read the words above from Paul and celebrate God's heart of love for us! It can be a long, hard struggle to live in a way that pleases God. It will not always be this difficult. Being a Christ follower will and should involve sacrifice of choosing His way versus ours- but the eternal gifts are worth the temporary struggle we have. Keep fighting, and ask Him to give you the strength you need!

(Top Photo from Freepik.com)

National Suicide Prevention Day

Each year about 44,000 Americans die by suicide. Think about that number- 44,000. Wow. That also leaves hundreds of thousands of grieving families and friends when their loved one makes the choice hopelessly opt of life- choosing to believe the future will not change. 

Christians are not immune. Even pastors. This story of one such pastor is at once totally heartbreaking and also totally hopeful. But as you will see, God is always good and always available to those who cry out to Him. Check it out here.

Keeping It Real at Disneyland

The recent suicide at the Disneyland Hotel made my mind swim with a variety of thoughts and my heart jump with emotion. Sadness and disbelief mingled with shock. It brought about a heavy dose of reality. Even at the "Happiest place on Earth" life is not always carefree, and life is more than just what is happening in Disney's world. Life may have seemed simpler in the "Old Days", but even back when Walt was young, troubles took their toll. Human nature remains the same, and so does the Eternal God who loves us.

Helping others cope in times of pain is just part of the job. Not my job- although it is- but our job. It is part of the human condition. We all experience loss, grief, betrayal and eventually death. My prayers are with the family of this man who chose to take his life. Unfortunately, he also chose to take a part of his family's life- one that can never be replaced. It was the piece with his name on it. May this man Rest in Peace, and may his family rest in peace in the arms of Jesus.

A Waste of a Life

Just got the news: a cousin of my wife's passed away last night from a drug overdose. Wow. Unexpected? No, not really.

Sad story of a young guy at 13 who started messing with the bottle, moved on to pot, then onto hardcore stuff. All the while Danny thought he had it under control, but I guess in the long run, it really controlled him. Funny how we start doing stuff that we shouldn't and think it's ok, and then we look back years later and wonder how we got in this mess. Danny leaves a grieving family, heartbroken and shocked. Please, if you need help, get it. Don't wait thinking you've always got tomorrow... Cry out to Jesus for help.