Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

Depression and suicide has hit our extended family and friends in the last month. Really. It is heartbreaking to live through and watch the survivors try to piece their lives back together. Are you hearing many more stories about depression and how common it is especially during the holidays? I certainly am!  If you are someone who struggles with depression ( I do!) and even thoughts of ending your own life, don't give up! Read on, be encouraged, and get the help you need.

Thanks to men such as Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, discussion about male depression is not as uncommon as it used to be.  Thankfully. Wintertime is always a season where this sense of overwhelming sadness is triggered in me. This gets worse especially after the holidays when everything goes back to normal, and Spring seems oh so far away. That said, I have a slight understanding of the ups and downs that can accompany the feeling of things not being 100% "right". There is hope!

Although it's less so than in years past, I have been constantly amazed by the general reluctance of the society and sometimes even the faith community to discuss this very common human condition. Yet, I have read two very interesting pieces in the New Testament where both the great Apostle Paul and even Jesus himself struggled with despair. Imagine that! Here's a quote from Paul written to the church in Corinth.

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we even despised of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened what we might not rely on ourselves, but on God,who raises the dead" (II Corinthians 1:8-9).

Jesus' words are even more important here, as He is God in the flesh: In the garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion, he says to Peter, James and John, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Matthew 26:38). Is this not shocking to realize the Son of God and also Christianity's greatest evangelist felt with despair? 

How much more direct and descriptive can that be?

Personally speaking, it's taken me years to accept the fluctuations that come in life. I've been trained in the Southern California mindset of "Always sunny and free all the time". But life is not like that- which is why I am also so against the prosperity teachers that can populate the Christian airwaves and bookstores. Your best life ever? It includes pain, suffering and sorrow. These form our character and help put our priorities into focus us.

It is possible to manage life's ups and downs when dealing with depression. One of the few things I have discovered: First, stay as far away from sin as possible! Instead of looking toward the things that will seem to meet my needs in the moment or distract me from my pain but ultimately keep me addicted, I will ask God for strength to avoid them. The truth is giving in to them only adds  to my problems by doing things I know will cause me to be more deeply depressed later. Be it too much food or alcohol, drugs, illicit sex, gambling, the internet, shopping etc, the actions which numb our pain can also be the very ones that keep us captive instead of free.

Secondly, when my need feels great, when I am sad, or even when I am just craving what I know is ultimately destructive, I am training myself to see that as my clue that I need more peaceful alone time with my heavenly father. Time for quiet reflection, prayer, worship, and reading my Bible will bring me back to a peaceful place if I discipline myself to engage in these essential activities. I've made the decision that my life belongs to Jesus, so I can go right to Him when I know He can and will show tender care for me. He always meets me when I need Him. He never turns away regardless of what I am feeling or what I have done.

Third, develop a pattern of choosing to have a thankful heart. It is a challenge in our culture that continuously tells us we need more to be satisfied. (Isn't that the core message of any advertising?) The next trip, the next purchase, the next relationship will not take away the pain. In fact, they may add to it! Everything we own owns us to some degree, either by the financial investment to purchase it or the time it takes to maintain it. I am so blessed by God! Yet, how often do I long for more of everything and not be grateful for my life. It will never be perfect or free from want or conflict, so I might as well be as joyful, thankful and at peace as I can be. Thankfulness brings hope and a very needed reminder that things do not always stay hard or without the chance for change.

Tears ago, there was a brief season of a few months where I even took  antidepressants on the advice of my doctor. That helped balance me out when I need it. Others need them as a long term part of their lives. If that's you, please consider it. God uses doctors to heal, too! This includes counselors and leaders in the faith community. Keep that in consideration if you struggle.

When all else fails- WAIT. Stop. Rest. Get help. Sleep. Do not take any action to hurt yourself or others. Wait for a new day. I know that when the pain is deep and the depression is overwhelming, everything else in our lives gets blocked from our view. 

A friend sent me this (below). I think you'll find it VERY helpful:

"The Beloved Romans 1:7- 

“To all those in Rome who are loved [beloved] by God and called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." 

Paul says that the saints in Rome, those who have placed their trust in Jesus Christ to save their souls, are loved by God, or more acurately, they are The Beloved. This word beloved is more accurate because it is in the present tense and never ending. Revealing the love from God towards His children. The first 9 uses of this Word in the New Testament is used of how the Father loved Jesus His Son. This should give us insight into how God loves you!    God's Love for His Kids is Unchanging    Unconditional and Unselfish. 

Remember this encouraging and uplifting Truth when you do not feel like the Beloved of God. Pick up the shield of faith that stops the firey missles of the enemy and speak the Truth of God out of your mouth, as the Sword of the Spirit like David did; "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? (Then preach this exhortation to your soul) Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence." 

Father God, You are Present, never leaving me, never forsaking me. Help me to preach the gospel to myself over and over again today, elevating You in my heart and allowing Your Presence to rise in my mind, so that I walk with You morning noon and night, in Jesus name amen ACTION: Be-loved."

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God is faithful as we continue to look to Him for hope and strength. In fact, God so loved YOU that He sent Jesus to earth to die in your place. The baby in the manger grew up to be God's perfect and complete sacrifice for the sins of all who believe in Him. May my disclosure and insights help give you who struggle some ideas about how to live life well in the midst of difficulty.