Pride, Sexuality, and the Gospel of Jesus

Gay, Straight or something else on the spectrum? Atheist, Agnostic, or Adherent to a particular faith, or adherence to none. Dr. Christopher Yuan writes a mesmerizing book that successfully addresses the idea of healthy, holy sexuality. Reading it will help the LGBTQ+ reader understand the perspective of those who don't understand them and visa versa, people of faith and people of no faith. It's a book that addresses the Bible, Christianity, Pride, Brokenness, and who can follow the call of Jesus Christ. It was an eye-opening journey which brought many questions to light and made me consider what it meant to look at complex issues from multiple sides of the equation. Read it if you want your world view stretched.

Love On Demand

Sex. 

I have your attention now, don’t I?

I must admit, I think about sex often. I bet you do, too. Sometimes, I wonder if that is godly. I love that private time with my wife. Then I realize God created and blesses marital sex, and He calls it good. In the New Testament, Paul exhorts believers to remember that in marriage, the body of the husband also belongs to his wife, and the wife’s body also belongs to her husband (I Corinthians 7:3-4). I like that. Sounds like an abundance of love on command.

As with most things, Scripture challenges us with another level of application- the commandment to love our wives. Reading I Corinthians 13 reminded me that Biblical love is an action, not just a feeling. One section hit me square between the eyes: “Love… is not self-seeking” (vs. 5).

Sex.

(I just wanted to say it again to make sure I didn’t lose you for this next part!)

How many times I am selfish and self-seeking all day long! It’s a matter of what I want when I want it. Especially when I get home from the demands of the day. Occasionally, glimpses of change shine through. Maybe it is the same for you.

Our attention seems to be naturally tuned in to our careers, our pleasure, and our recreation. The culture we live in also reinforces our sin nature. You know- be all that you can be; go for the gusto; win at all costs; be the master of your universe; ad nauseum. Everything from computers to sports, captivates our hearts and occupies our time. We willingly spend our lives pursuing recognition, more money, more toys, and better bodies.

So what about loving our wives and giving ourselves up for them? (Ephesians 5). That is part of this marriage thing. We are called to love and serve our wives- to lay our lives down for them. What speaks sacrificial love to your wife? It is a dinner out, kind words, a cup of coffee and conversation, letting her have a night out while you watch the kids, or taking her to that “chick flick” she’s dying to see? The answers are endless, but only you know what those things are that speak of your preference for her over yourself and what you want.

Want more and better sex? Learn to love on your wife. Use your body, your whole body, to love her. Use your ears to listen to her about her day; your mouth to praise and encourage her; your hands to help her; your heart to understand how she feels; your feet to take her places she enjoys. Use your mind to choose her, instead of doing what just pleases you.

Put her above all others. Then she will be free to be who she really is- the woman of your dreams, the love of your life, the one you married. And your heart will be free to enjoy her. Lastly, seek the Lord with all you’ve got. Nothing is more attractive to a godly wife than a man who loves his Lord. A bulging wallet or bulging biceps can’t even come close.

Sex.

It’s a wonderful thing that God desires to make even better by laying down our lives for our wives. Don’t just believe me about what I’ve written- ask your wife.

Celebrate Love

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. Let's celebrate love. Real love- the kind that lasts. This kind of love you won't find celebrated at Disney's Magic Kingdoms. Not at Walt Disney World, Disneyland Paris or even the original park.

Everyone looks for true love, but how do you find it? Can it be found in marriage?

Back almost 5 years ago, the United States Supreme Court has decided that same sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. People  that are disagreeing with the decision said it is not our court's position. They were opposed on grounds of their traditional understanding that God designed marriage for one man and one woman, referencing both the Old and New Testaments that make up the Bible.

Those folks celebrating the court's decision said "Love Wins", claiming marriage is only a legal bond between two people of any gender. They believe the availability of the institution should be made for all. Regardless of how they identify.

What do I think? The truth is "Love Already Won". It won two thousand years ago, when the ultimate act of true love was taken by Jesus Christ to die on the cross for the sin of all mankind. His death and resurrection made a way to eternal life for all who would turn away from their sin by trusting in Him and His work on the Cross. He was raised from the dead proving He is God. The offer is yours. Choose to live a life that honors God by following the law he gave. The problem is, following Jesus means changing our lives in humility to His Authority regardless of how you feel.

What constitutes civil rights will change from county to country, decade to decade, and even President to President in the United States. Although Obama stated one thing and Trump another, God's Word and his law are never changing. They are eternal - in fact through the Ten Commandments, He did legislate morality- and He does not change. 

Regardless of where you stand on these issues, the most important question we will ever have to answer still remains: Jesus asks "Who do you say I am?" 

Your answer is of ultimate importance. The relationship you have (or don't have) with God in the Flesh, the creator of the universe, the only one who paid the price for your sin and mine, is the first and most important relationship you need to have settled. The one that determines your eternal future. Every other aspect of your life is very important, they are but secondary compared to how you answer this question. 

Did love win? How you answer and then how you love people, even those you disagree with, will show whether or not real love has won in your life. It really is that simple. 

Show real love to each other and celebrate Valentine's Day by loving those you agree with- and those you don't.

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Here's a great video from Dr. Michael Brown discussing God's love for ALL people, including the gay community. 20 Minutes worth your time- minus the slightly dorky music...

What Drives Chip and Joanna Gaines

Love 'em or hate em, Chip and Joanna Gaines are pretty savvy people! Personally, I love their simple, direct honesty, warts and all. And they talk about them in this very interesting video from two years back. Worth watching again.

Once you see this, you'll understand why HGTV is now all the poorer for the end of Fixer Upper and their departure. America fell in love with the Gaines family for a reason. 

Love Wins

The United States Supreme Court has decided that same sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. Those folks that are disagreeing with the decision say its not the court's place to decide or are opposed on grounds of their traditional understanding that God designed marriage for one man and one woman, referencing both the Old and New Testaments that make up the Bible.

Those celebrating the court's decision say "Love Wins", claiming marriage is only a legal bond between two people of any gender, and the availability of the institution should be made for all.

I say "Love Already Won". And it won two thousand years ago, when the supreme act of love was taken by Jesus Christ to die on the cross for the sin of all mankind, making a way to eternal life for all who would turn away from their sin, trust in Him and His work on the Cross before being raised from the dead, and choose to live a life that honors God by following the law he gave.

What constitutes civil rights will change from county to country, decade to decade. God's Word and his law are eternal - in fact through the Ten Commandments, He did legislate morality- and He does not change. 

In spite of where you stand on the issue of gay marriage, the most important question we will ever have to answer still remains: Jesus asks "Who do you say I am?" 

Your answer and the relationship you do or don't have with the creator of the universe, the only one who paid the price for your sin and mine, is the first and most important relationship you need to have settled. Everything else is important but secondary. 

How you handle this decision and how you love people, even those you disagree with,  will show whether or not real love has won in your life. End of story. 

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Here's a good video from Dr. Michael Brown discussing God's love for ALL people, including the gay community. 20 Minutes worth your time- minus the slightly dorky music...

Walking Away

I want to quit.

Apparently, I'm like everyone else.  If you look at the numbers, so many people are walking away. Leaving marriages, companies, friendships, churches, their faith etc. Doesn't seem to matter what the core factor at question is, people are generally walking away from it all.

I'm not going to quit.

Yes, I'm tired. Yes, it's hard. Jesus himself described there would be an ongoing battle for those who want to follow God. A battle of flesh against spirit. Thankfully, He promises eternal life for all who would endure until the end.

It's sad though. I see some of my friends' children walking away- and some of them as well! Not all my kids follow Jesus with their whole heart. Some just don't want to press in when things get hard. Some just like the mindset of the world instead and invest little.

The big question: Is the way you're living drawing you closer or farther away to Jesus? Think about it. Standing still is really walking away, little increments at a time.

I won't do it. I want to, but I won't. My heart's desire is to finish my human race well- and right into the arms of a God who loves me.

What about you?

In Sickness and In Health

Oh Jesus! There's nothing like being home sick in bed to make you slow down and think. 

I love this portrait of Jesus by artist Richard Hook. In a society that has feminized him for generations, this drawing reminds me that he had to be one tough man to endure torture and crucifixion on our behalf. 

Some would act as if he was defeated, but those who really study the Bible understand that his death led to his resurrection which paid the price for my sin and for all who would give their lives to Him. It was a victory not a defeat. A successful end to an earthly ministry.

I love you, Lord Jesus. Help me love you even more. And in sickness as in health, let me serve you all the days of my life. Thank you for the gift of yours.

5 Deadly Terms and a Husband's Response

A female friend of our family sent me the non famous graphic seen above. Entitled "5 Deadly Terms Used by a Woman", it attempts to explain what a woman really means when she says something else. Of course, all in good fun.  I told her I would think about it and send her the male equivalent. Here it is:

One word: "OK", translated as...

A- "I don't really care."

B- "I'm not listening"

C- "When is dinner ready?'

D- "Just don't spend too much."

E- "Leave me alone so I can do what I am doing."

F- "Unless its an emergency, don't interrupt."

We are just as communicative as women, we just use fewer words! ;)

(Response copyright Mark Taft.)

Risky Business

In our day, Marriage is a risky choice- a courageously brave and difficult choice!

We live in a culture of short term commitments:
• Throwaway relationships and Disposable Marriages
• Employment that ends when the benefits don’t suit someone
• Face book Friends we never see Face to Face

We can live our lives with the attitude of “What’s in it for me?” We can desire to live our lives without making promises, even those we have chosen to join in commitment. It's a real option for too many people carrying deep wounds from the past.

The problem is- if we all think this way, no one makes promises to us!All of which makes marriage the biggest gamble we take!

In the book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul tells us husbands should love their wives as Jesus loved the church. But what exactly does that mean?
It means marriage is a choice of dying to our own preferences for the sake of our mate- doing this on a daily basis and holding to the promises we make on our wedding day.

When Jesus, by choice, chose to die on the cross to pay for the sins of Man, he was taking a huge risk. He knew some would not accept His Love and His Sacrifice. And the Enemy was against Him. But the pending reward of eternity with those who believed outweighed the risk. So, Jesus gave up his life because He loved His Father and he loved the people He created.

There will be times when keeping the promises will be impossible. The pain will be so deep, when the anger and fear seems impossible to bridge, when you totally forget why you even chose to marry and may regret your choice. Your friends and family may even encourage you to opt out of your promises. But this is when Love can win.

As you persevere in marriage and do so with a heart to sacrifice, your rewards will be great. God will use you to heal and bless each other- and to be a witness of His Love to a world that is dying. As you persevere, you will be transformed into the image of Christ- and you will bless your Heavenly Father by choosing obedience and sacrifice versus self indulgence!

Risky Love

In our day, Marriage is a risky choice- a courageously brave and difficult choice!

We live in a culture of short term commitments:
• Throwaway relationships and Disposable Marriages
• Employment that ends with the benefits don’t suit someone
• Facebook Friends we never see Face to Face

We can live our lives with the attitude of “What’s in it for me?”
We desire to live our lives without making promises.
The problem is- then no one makes promises to us!
All of which makes marriage the biggest gamble we take!

In the book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul tells us husbands should love their wives as Jesus loved the church. But what exactly does that mean?

It means marriage is a choice of dying to our own preferences for the sake of our mate- doing this on a daily basis and holding to the promises we make on our wedding day.

When Jesus, by choice, chose to die on the cross to pay for the sins of Man, he was taking a huge risk. He knew some would not accept His Love and His Sacrifice. And the Enemy was against Him. But the pending reward of eternity with those who believed outweighed the risk. So, Jesus gave up his life because He loved His Father and he loved the people He created.

There will be times when keeping the promises will be impossible. The pain will be so deep, when the anger and fear seems impossible to bridge, when you totally forget why you even chose to marry and may regret your choice. Your friends and family may even encourage you to opt out of your promises, but this is when Love can win.

As you persevere in marriage and do so with a heart to sacrifice, your rewards will be great. God will use you to heal and bless each other- and to be a witness of His Love to a world that is dying. As you persevere, you will be transformed into the image of Christ- and you will bless your Heavenly Father by choosing obedience and sacrifice versus self indulgence!

Acceptance Speech

(Please forgive a little self indulgence with today's post...)

Today I am fifty. The Big Five-O. Half a century. Five decades. There, I said it.

My life so far has been filled with the expected and unexpected ups and downs. You know, the stuff that happens to all of us and makes us either better or bitter, either grateful or angry.

Transplanted to California from the East Coast before I started grade school but now living in Colorado, I will always be a Californian at heart. My folks were young and hopeful like all newlyweds, and they choose to take off to the Golden State for a better life. I'm glad they did. I grew up loving the beach, the bountiful sun, the surf, all the great music, and Disneyland.

Most all my folks' relatives soon followed them out. In an age where so many families are living apart, it was a huge gift to grow up very close in distance and in heart to both my grandmothers. I cherish those memories of my time with them! There were also numerous aunts, uncles and cousins that joined us.

Our family was and is now, warm and loving. We had our issues like every family, especially in the teenage years when my sister and I knew everything. We knew how to fight, but we knew how to make up, too! There is so much about my parents and my sister that I didn't appreciate until I had kids of my own, but I knew I was loved deeply, and I loved them back. My Dad taught me how to be a great husband just by watching him. My Mom taught me what it meant to be a friend. Great role models to this day.


I will always be thankful for living in California for two other reasons. As a young adult, I got to experience the "Jesus Movement" of the seventies. It was an exciting time to discover there was more to life than what I knew.

A young pastor named Greg Laurie explained God's love and sacrifice through Jesus for me (and about 1,000 other people). I made a commitment that night to give things over to Him. I have never regretted that choice. God washed away my pain and sin and replaced it with joy and hope and new life. Although the struggles in life don't disappear, God is faithful. I've been trying to live a peaceful and love-filled life for Jesus ever since. Sometimes doing better in that than others, but still trying.

Fast-forward a couple of years. Reason number two for being glad I lived in California: it is where I met my wife- the biggest blessing from God I've ever received. She also came with a pretty terrific family of her own. I love them all as if I grew up with them myself.

As it should be, my wife is the person I would choose to spend all my time with given the choice. There is no one else I'd rather talk to. We laugh, we cry, we work, and we play together really well. In the midst of life's experiences, she continues to amaze me with her wisdom, her silly sense of humor, and her beauty. She navigates the working world with ease. Always the mechanic in the house, trying to fix anything at least once. There is more to say, most I'll never tell. It is wonderful to have your wife as your best friend. I've always said "One woman is more than enough for any man", and I plan on spending the rest of my life loving her.

Three of our four children were born in California, but the youngest decided to make his appearance in Colorado. (Our red-haired and blue-eyed "Bronco Baby" as the doctor described him.) We have been blessed to also have a great family life, playing, working, traveling, and just enjoying each other. Our kids are all adults now, with lives and families of their own. (But deep down inside, they will always be "Munchie", "Silly Honey", "Ted" and "Boy" to me!) Each very different from the other, but I am so proud of them as they have encountered their own struggles and joys and survived and thrived with their faith intact. As they say, time marches on. (And I love being a father-in-law and a Granddad as it does!)



Even though we live far away from our families, we are still close. After two decades in Colorado, God has blessed us with wonderfully fun and faithful friends. There have been more parties on our patio than I can count and all the support you'd ever want when things are tough. I enjoy work and the folks I work with. After five decades, I still love my wife and kids and my God. Guess life is pretty good, even at fifty!
Well, enough ranting! It is time to move on and enjoy the future. Thankfully, my favorite verse from the Bible has no expiration date, even for this next season of life: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him." 
(From the Book of I Corinthians 2:9)

Moonlight Serenade

Thanks Dad and Mom for showing us so fine an example of what a great marriage should be. It's a pretty high standard to love and serve each other, your family, and God with such joy and sacrifice. But that is who you are. Much love to you both- and thanks. 

Rocky Mountain High

Off to a mountain retreat today for a few days of play and rest. My annual time away to focus on my faith, my family, and my friends. The really important things in my life. It's a good thing to reflect and spend time being worshipful and thankful. Be back next week.

Broken

The last few months I've seen an increasing amount of marriages fall apart. Shattered lives and dreams, broken kids and broken people. Most of these marriages could have made it, but there were a few recurring themes that caused each of these to fall apart.

Forgiveness is at the top of the list. It's to be expected that two people sharing lives are going to hurt each other, sometimes seriously. I've seen forgiveness heal the toughest of circumstances and lack of it turn a small offense into the root of destruction. Please don't let your hurts build up. Work it out.

Secondly, selfishness is a huge culprit in destroying love. Grow up a bit, buckle down, and learn to prefer the other partner. Focus on meeting their needs. If both do that, each person's needs are met and love grows. It is not all about you.

Lastly, please talk. Good communication builds love and respect. Gentle honesty adds to trust and reassures commitment. It amazes me how the simple art of talking, which caused love to grow in the first place, becomes relegated to drudgery. This issue goes all the way back to the first marriage. Had the residents of the garden practiced talking before action, chances are that forbidden fruit would have stayed on the tree. Somewhere, somehow, we need to learn these lessons or we'll pass on a heritage of pain.