November 1, 2010

Where Are You, God?

Are you even paying attention to what is happening in my life? Are you even there, God? It seems as though you have abandoned me, yet I know that You have always proven yourself faithful. The problem is that I cannot see where you are right now.

There are so many - too many- times I have been wounded and abused, attacked or experienced deep tragedy, and you have been there. But I always ever only see you in the aftermath when all is said and done. It's not that I do not feel your peace or the sweetness of your care, it's that I think I am looking for resolution instead of being patient for you to reveal yourself to me in the midst of pain and long suffering.

I'm the one with the problem. Maybe I have abandoned you, forgotten you, struggled to trust you. Yes, I think that is it. Help me, Lord Jesus, to really trust. After all these years, after all this time, I am still unworthy and proven to have a wandering heart. Forgive me for my lack of faith. Bring me back to you in full. Hear my prayer. Restore me please. I want to see you at work again.

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