March 26, 2008


The last few months I've seen an increasing amount of marriages fall apart. Shattered lives and dreams, broken kids and broken people. Most of these marriages could have made it, but there were a few recurring themes that caused each of these to fall apart.

Forgiveness is at the top of the list. It's to be expected that two people sharing lives are going to hurt each other, sometimes seriously. I've seen forgiveness heal the toughest of circumstances and lack of it turn a small offense into the root of destruction. Please don't let your hurts build up. Work it out.

Secondly, selfishness is a huge culprit in destroying love. Grow up a bit, buckle down, and learn to prefer the other partner. Focus on meeting their needs. If both do that, each person's needs are met and love grows. It is not all about you.

Lastly, please talk. Good communication builds love and respect. Gentle honesty adds to trust and reassures commitment. It amazes me how the simple art of talking, which caused love to grow in the first place, becomes relegated to drudgery. This issue goes all the way back to the first marriage. Had the residents of the garden practiced talking before action, chances are that forbidden fruit would have stayed on the tree. Somewhere, somehow, we need to learn these lessons or we'll pass on a heritage of pain.

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