Isn't She Lovely?

With no apologies to Stevie Wonder- Here's my wife and I with our oldest and amazing daughter at someone's wedding. Dare I say this bridesmaid and her mom stole the show with their beauty? Yes. A thousand times, yes. Inside and out.

(Photograph copyright Mark Taft.

Our Wedding Day

Happy Anniversary to my lovely wife and best friend! So happy to still love each other so many years later...

Finding Love in Alaska

Several years ago, my wife, and kids and I journeyed to Alaska for a wedding. It's a beautiful place so worth visiting. But that's not the point of this story.  When I think back, I am still so surprised by it all. But I should not have been.

This was a very non-traditional ceremony. As is common, the bride and groom wrote their own vows. They were sweet and tender, and even a little humorous - which fit them perfectly. The Maid of Honor spoke up to speak prior to the rings being exchanged.

She began her comments with something about “the god above and the goddess below", then she wished them (and I cannot give you an exact quote here)- the peace of Buddha, the _?_ of Krishna, the passion of Pele (Hawaiian goddess of fire) in their love life, and the _?_ of Thor (Norwegian god of thunder and war). Everybody but Jesus and the Cat in the Hat seemed to be included. Now, that is not to be disrespectful with my words. I choose them just to give you a full picture of her words and their shock value to my ears. I guess it's so common nowadays to be so "inclusive" but to leave out Jesus. (It's the state of our world in the West, but in Majority World cultures, Christianity - the real Biblical kind- is booming, with growth in even the most difficult places.)

Again, so these words were just the maid of honor's perspective. But she was chosen to be the maid of honor, so there has to be some commonality between the bride's viewpoints and hers. I have no idea what they thought about this "prayer of blessing" or anyone else’s thoughts at the wedding, for that matter. It was never even  discussed. But what about Jesus?

Because I am a man who prays, this entire experience challenges me as I do. How can I reconcile her words with those of Jesus? "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)

Here is a very nice, well-meaning, loving woman truly believing in any and all gods of the earth- aside from the One True God who created it all. Who else at this ceremony is fully embracing this concept of many gods and goddesses? It's been done throughout the centuries. I remember studying Roman and Greek gods and goddesses in elementary school. Nowadays, at least in our local elementary school library, books on Islam and Judaism etc. are found in the shelves, but books about Christianity and Biblical thinking have been removed. Even this week. Why?

We are all searching for love and for meaning and order to our world. Jesus loves all of us and died for all of us, but not everyone will accept the truth or the Giver if Life. But let’s be direct and clear from Jesus' own words, no one will enter into heaven at their death by believing in and worshiping everyone and anyone but Him. Either He is telling the truth about who He is and why he came to earth in human form or He isn’t. Pretty simple. And pretty unpopular and very politically incorrect in his day and in ours. But they are His words, not mine. I didn't make the rules, and neither did you.

The Bible is pretty clear on these matters of multiple gods and earth worship. The apostle Paul writes:

“They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.” (II Timothy 4:4) and this one:

"We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one. For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"), yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live." (I Corinthians 8:4-6)

What instead if we worship nature and creation? That's pretty common as well. These verses from the book of Romans talk about it. Certainly nothing new in that:

"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. " (Romans 1:21-23)

So what are we to do? Love well, live kindly and respectfully, and speak wisely. And as those who follow Jesus, watch and listen for an opportunity to share the truth and to share what God has done for us. You can't separate the two. Even the great Apostle Paul who wrote most of the Bible's New Testament, shared what Jesus did for him and the only way to eternal life in Heaven.

In the States, most people know of Jesus- head knowledge, school book, even church trained stuff. Yet, how many really know and are intimate with Him in the way the Bible speaks of having a life-giving relationship with him? Heart knowledge? Knowledge of their sinfulness and of their need for Him? Many of us have family members and dear friends who do not know Jesus at the level He challenges us to. At the very depth of relationship that will one day lead us to eternal life with Him with or without Him. It's Heaven or Hell, and the price has been paid on our behalf. Jesus took on our sin and its penalty of eternal death to provide a way for us to come before God fully clean and forgiven. He died for us, and He was raised from the dead to prove to us that He is God eternal, proving the Bible to be true. 

I mean, we measure time from his birth! Something world changing happened 2,000 years ago!

By loving others deeply, honestly and sincerely, we gain the opportunity to share the Creator God who loves us. This is the best way to share the heart, the love, and the message of Jesus.

(Photographs copyright Lonely Planet.)

Harry, Meghan, and The Queen

Don't tell my wife, but I'm kind of taken with this photo of the royal newlyweds. Beneath all the glamour- and the guildedness of the room- there's something very touching and telling about this. 

At the core of it all, this is still a family photograph of two young newlyweds and their family. The bride and groom are beaming, the new in-laws might be having awkward conversations with each other, and the photographer is still unable to get all those cute little kids to look at the camera at the same time! 

Can you imagine being the mother of the bride? Even the hopes and dreams of any parent probably wouldn't include what happened to Meghan Markle. What stories Doria Ragland would have to tell about this whole process! Prince Harry would have his own as well. I mean, how do you explain to your royal family that you're marrying an American? Perhaps the next generation of television's The Queen will tell the story of her children and grandchildren. Much as been written and movies created about Charles and Diana, but I think the lives of their children are just as interesting.

Fairytales aside, marriage is hard work! I wouldn't wish that kind of royal pressure on anyone. It will be interesting to watch what transpires. They'll never escape the news outlets. For better or for worse, richer (not poorer), God has made the two one. I hope they make it work out.

35th Anniversary

Forgive me for a self-indulgent post that is designed mostly for my wife. But our children and grandchildren will enjoy it later. Today is our 35th wedding anniversary, and so in honor of that. I thought I would share a few photos which tell our story.

But first, a story in song for my wife. The beautiful "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran captures what's been in my heart from the very beginning. I haven't been as moved by a song since I was a kid. (Stephanie, this song feels as if I wrote it for you.):

I found a love for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes, you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favourite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we're so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we'll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I'll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect
I don't deserve this
You look perfect tonight

We had our photos taken before the wedding, but I remember sneaking away for a few moments just the two of us. How I can see you in my mind like it was yesterday. Just as beautiful as you are today. Little did we know what we were getting into! You married perhaps the world's quirkiest man. Yet, through all the good times and the hard ones, God has been so good to us!

Our first apartment. Country Woods in Brea, California.

Upper level on the right side.

Happy days in that apartment- just you and me.

It may have been exactly on our 1st wedding anniversary that we found out you were pregnant. I know we were in Florida at Disney. This was the role I always knew you were meant to play- Mom. And you did the role of parent way better than I ever did. Still do.

Our first home purchase.

Our eldest son and daughter were born here.

This photo was taken about 20 years after we lived there.

That wall was only a fence into a courtyard, filled with lush shrubs and flowers.

Broke but happy. Two more coming soon.

Life took us away from our parent's homes and lives, but we loved our time in Northern California. It was almost like starting fresh. Little did we know Colorado was on the horizon. Trading the beach for snow? That couldn't have been what I agreed to!

Our first Colorado winter...

...and almost a year later.

(Nope, I'm probably not moving from our house until I have to. So, no photo necessary.)

The world's four best kids.

Career changes galore for me, and you went back to teaching at just the right time. I wouldn't trade these decisions, but I know there's been times when it has been hard on you. Thank you for doing all this with an incredible amount of grace and steadfastness. I know you, and you would all attribute it to being obedient to what God called us to do, but I'm grateful. Certainly, our children have to see you as a role model- and rightly so- but they also have to see two parents who so love Jesus and want to honor Him with their lives. Now, our grandkids get to watch that as well. And I'm thrilled that so many of them have chosen to follow Jesus as well. Even at such a young age, their parents are raising them well!

Lavender fields in France.

One of the absolute delights in our lives has been discovering the world together. Funny, how when my career changed, I thought those days were over, but in reality, we've done more traveling than we ever thought possible. And taken our young family on some pretty great adventures. 

The Mediterranean Sea.

Paris st Christmastime.

Italy for our 25th!

One of our favorite places just calls for a bottle of wine.

Exploring Germany.

Of course, there's been many other places near and far as well as the ones above- and I hope and pray there are many more adventures ahead for us. That "bucket list" is pretty endless. My wanderlust in fairly insatiable. 

Our parents certainly modeled incredible marriages for us.

As our parents celebrate 60 plus years of marriage, my only hope is, should the Lord grant, we'd get to do the same. I've often taken our life together for granted. But I'm finally waking up. Sorry it's taken so long. I love you so- and I am so thankful for who you are and for all of the things we've been able to share. Many more than I can say, and many more that I would never share publicly. I love you more than I may ever say...

A Persian Wedding

Our much loved nephew asked me to officiate his wedding to a lovely Christian girl- the only believer in a Persian family made up of both practicing and non-practicing Muslims- and including some who have even denounced Islam altogether. Since anyone can perform a wedding in their state, and because I would be going to it anyway, I nervously agreed to take on the honored job.

Their heart was for a fully Christian wedding without compromise, and I was happy to bless them- knowing all too well it came with an inherent challenge whenever you blend two families of differing faiths. I began to ask God for just the right scriptures and words, desiring a way to build bridges between families without any compromise to our mutual Christian faith. They did not want that either and believed it was important to stand for what they believe- but to do it as graciously as possible.

I really prayed hard and felt God directed me to Song of Solomon 2:10-13 where the lovers are thrilled that the winter is past and flowers have returned to blanket the earth. I quietly chewed on these verses for awhile, and one day, I felt led to look up the meaning of her Persian name. It meant “The one who brings the Spring”. This was a confirmation the Old Testament passage was a perfect choice… but it was only the beginning.

How could I possibly perform a wedding ceremony that would build bridges between the Christian and Muslim guests without compromising the fact that we all do not worship the same God?

The bottom line was that I could not. The media, the school system, and the Pope, would have you believe Christians and Muslims worship the same God, but the work of solid Biblical scholars from centuries ago forward -as well as a thorough reading of the Bible itself- reveals something quite the opposite to be true. (Read the book of Acts 4:8-12. Salvation is found in no other name but Jesus Christ.) How the wedding ceremony and reception all played out taught me some very important lessons…  

As the rest of the wedding story also tells, we will have many more opportunities as our own society continues to change. But that's a topic for another time. About half an hour before the ceremony is due to begin, the videographer attaches the microphone to my lapel and asks “What kind of religious ceremony is this?” I explain the situation, and he laughs loudly, exclaiming “This will be fun to watch!”

I immediately get nervous, realizing anew the potential powder keg of the event. I like her father and mother, want to respect them and build bridges for the newlyweds, and I want to do this well. All without compromise. Nerves, nerves, nerves. I stand outside the room waiting for the bride and groom to come downstairs to begin the wedding proceedings.

Inevitably by default, I become a greeter. So I take my unassigned duties pretty seriously, welcoming people, starting small talk, and helping with directions to the ceremony in this posh, extremely high end hotel. A little baby boy comes in on his father's shoulder, so I talk with he and his two relatives about the little guy, and things get a bit easier.  

Standing with the groom, the doors open, and his beautiful bride slowly walks down the aisle on the arm of her father. They come to the front and, I welcome the guests. Explaining that this is not just a civil duty that’s being performed, I remind them that in God’s eyes, the joining of each man and woman is a very holy thing, no less special than the very first marriage in the Garden of Eden. Her father speaks the words of giving his daughter to this man, and I ask them to join me in prayer. I ask for blessing, ending with the words “In Jesus’ Name”- and all is good. 

Then the Persian part of the ceremony begins. As I explain it, the couple sits down on low benches before the table. A shawl is lifted over the them. Mothers and sisters rub sugared loaves together over the bride and groom. They are lightly dusted, symbolizing a sweet blessing over the couple. Afterwards, similar to a cake slicing, the bride and groom dip their finger in honey and feed the other. It’s a very tender moment. While they sit, I begin with Scripture. Sharing the verses, I speak that God is a god of love and that He created marriage and is not embarrassed by romance.

The Sofreh Aghd, a Persian - not Muslim- wedding tradition, as I was boldly told. This beautiful table is spread before the bride and groom at the front of the ceremony, symbolizing the family’s wishes for the marriage.

Admonishing the bride and groom to fulfill their duties wisely and as unto God, I remind them that marriage is also an example of how deeply and sacrificially Jesus loves the people He has created, etc. Vows are said, rings are exchanged,“I Do”s are spoken. The wedding blessing takes place, and I ask God Himself to join them together and that no man would separate them. Jesus is again acknowledged. I joyously pronounce them man and wife. It’s over. Now the fun begins…

What kind of response would I be given at the reception?

Surprisingly warm, it turns out. Honestly, I was quite nervous. Not so much for me but more so for the bride and groom who had to live with the consequences of the clearly Christian ceremony. We are asked to take part in a large both families together photograph. Her brother comes over and throws his arm around my shoulder. The bride’s parents made a point to come over and thank me for such a warm ceremony… as does the bride’s absolutely wonderful brother- who turns out to be a Scientologist! Later I would tell him how much I wanted to honor and respect his parents as well as the wishes of his sister. He smiles and thanks me for doing well. Another hug. I easily hug him back.

The dinner and party begin. We all eat, drink, talk, and take lots of pictures. Mostly Farsi and some English. Steak, salad, potatoes, and saffron rice with vegetables. Candied rose and lavender petals as mints. Home made baklava and delicious nuts from the bridal table. Luscious cake with vanilla cream. Members of her family come by and introduce themselves.

The music is strictly American Standards while we eat, but it’s almost totally ethnic when its time to dance, save Uptown Funk and a Michael Jackson tune. The young bridal party jumps for the chance to dance. The bride’s father comes directly to our table and enthusiastically encourages us all to dance with his family to the Persian songs playing. We get up, and join in. Everyone’s loud, laughing, holding hands while dancing, people hugging each other. After several hours, it’s time to go, so we gather our things and thank our hosts, hug the bride and groom. “Thank you for making the ceremony PERFECT!” they say. We walk out into the lobby as we leave.

I never did find out the meaning behind the Wedding Knife dance.

One woman thanks me for my introduction of the Sofreh Aghd as well, telling me how much it means to her and her family that it was identified as a Persian tradition. “It is NOT Muslim”, she states emphatically. One of the eldest men quietly approaches me and thanks me in broken English, “The service was lovely. Prior to tonight, I did not have much understanding of Christianity - thank you.” One of the bridesmaids approaches us- “ Did you enjoy yourselves? Were you comfortable? I want you to know that 50% of my family really is ok with Jesus and God and everything!” We smile and thank her, both wishing the percentage was higher! 

Was everything said what I wanted to hear? Not entirely, but it was pretty positive overall. Doors to deeper conversation were opened, and I learned and relearned some important lessons, just like I do with much of life:

1- People respond to genuine love and kindness. 

2- A man’s culture and his religion are not the same thing.

3- I have much to learn, and God is still working on me. 

4- Some people are more open to Jesus than you would think.

5- We all have stereotypes to overcome. 

6- God is faithful when we seek Him.

Children in the Grass

It was one of those perfect evenings in the summer. The breeze almost seemed to wiggle itself through the trees in our backyard as the sun played with the colors of the leaves. A stunning blue sky highlighted clouds of cotton candy, due to the slow beginnings of dusk.

Sitting there in the middle of the lawn with two of my youngest grandchildren, life just seemed right.

The hammock, the hula hoops, the balls thrown in the yard, and the sense of delight on my grandson's face as he played in the sprinklers made it seem as perfect as the day could be. My darling granddaughter, just a tiny baby, sat up with all her strength, and a peaceful little smile of accomplishment and satisfaction seemed to cross her face. 

In the 25 years we've lived here, the house has been full of life. In some ways, it's like Under the Tuscan Sun- there's been a wedding (with 120 people), babies, and patio parties aplenty. It's also been the scene of drinks for two on quiet evenings while the soundtrack from Sabrina plays in the background. A time when my beautiful wife and I think back, look forward, and just enjoy each other's company.

Our  home has been a solace when the world seemed harsh, in the days when I knew God was always good but I didn't understand why He allowed what He did. In some darkest hours, the patio has been a place where my quiet times of reading and prayer and study have brought me peace beyond measure as I have shared my heart before my God and King, the Lover of My Soul.

Moving into the house, the backyard was nothing but grass and a picket fence where every other space was filled in, leaving large gaps, making a view of the sunset easy. After years of planting, planning and building, we now had a mature yard filled with trees, flowers, shrubs, and sometimes weeds mixed in with the tulips, iris, and assorted other blooms. (So much like life, huh?) A stone patio, a fountain, and the necessary garden trinkets make the outdoor space as livable as any inside. 

I sensed deep joy last night. As my grandson explored every space he could find, I felt God's pleasure. On him, on me, on looking at our life. It dawned on me today that He looks at me as I see my grandchildren- kids in the grass, deeply loved and always looked after.

Here's to the Newlyweds!

One of several favorites from a beautiful wedding! Not only were my daughter and son-in-law incredibly happy and blessed by God, they made quite a handsome couple on the dance floor as well! As all the guests could tell you, Denver's Mile High Station was a stunning place for the reception. Classy, elegant, and lots of fun. The perfect follow-up to a simply beautiful wedding ceremony performed by their two close friends.

Sarah Severns Photography captured this special moment and many others, creating an incredble album of memories captued in a unique way. Thanks Sarah and Ryan, for doing such great works for your dear friends.

(Photograph copyright Sarah Severns.)

A Father's Speech

While we wait on photographs from the professional, I thought I'd share one of my favorite candid shots from my youngest daughter's wedding. Here, the bride and groom share their first dance and a private moment.

Next up, my dance with her, followed by my speech, below.

"My Darling Daughter, you have been a delight to us since the very beginning- and to those around you! Your zest for life, your loyalty to those you love, and your passion to please God, make you a remarkable young woman. You are not only beautiful and wise, you walk in purity, integrity, and obedience to God. You have strong gifts of encouragement, discernment, and leadership. And you’re just a lot of fun!

Many times your mother and I wondered who would be your husband as we saw no that came close to being worthy of you or being your equal. How pleased we were that you held your ground and waited for God. Even as a little girl, you’ve known your value in Christ did not depend on what others said about you.

My new son-in-law, we are thrilled that you are her husband- and you are her perfect match in every way! You are a man of equal passion for the Lord, warmth, integrity, and wisdom. Your brilliant mind, kindness, and good humor, make you a man who is comfortable in his own skin.

Everyone here, everyone around you, can see how you two were designed by God to be together! What a good thing this is!

As gifted as each of you are individually, you will be even more powerful in the Lord and much happier as you serve Him together in unison. Even though you are peers in every way, always remember God brought you together for His purposes together, that your giftings match well.

May God Himself be in the middle of all you do and bless you with a long and happy life together!"

Picture Perfect

What a beautiful wedding! And what a wonderful couple!

It could not have been a more perfect evening wedding as the skies were clear, the moon bright, and the garden was lit up with everything from candles to lanterns. Romantic and perfect.

The bride looked stunning! (Of course, dads are allowed to say so!)

The flower girl was charming as always...

Siblings gathered together to celebrate!

The bride's side of the wedding party...Pretty cute!

Mom and daughter share a special moment...

...Dad and daughter, too!
What a special day for a special couple. Family and friends made it even better- and I thank all of them for sharing the blessing of the day with us.

Three Stooges

Nice photo here of my brother-in-law and my two nephews just prior to a family wedding. These three guys are among the funniest and sharpest witted folks I know. Great hearts and always good for a laugh!

Happy Couple

Congratulations to the happy couple! May your lives always be filled with the love of Jesus, His peace and His protection.