The dark days are so fresh in my memory that in the past, when I thought too much about them, I could be easily overwhelmed. But that was then. Now, I see the broken dreams and deep despair as a gift from God, forcing me to reevaluate my life and what was important to me. Eventually, actually many years later, I began to embrace the new outlook and be thankful for the pain that forced it into place.
For various reasons, I cannot share the details. This might be just as well because each person's dark night of the soul must be their own. And my hope is to inspire to help you watch for a light at the end of that tunnel, however long it may be.
In His exceedingly great but then misunderstood mercy, He allowed all the circumstances of my life and family to come together when I didn't expect it. My pride and self-reliance and need to look good in front of others had to die a death a fought, but ultimately it couldn't win. Couldn't survive. It had to go. Had to die.
Years later, I am thankful for what occurred. It's true that all things work for good according to His purposes if we love Him. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." The Apostle Paul's letter to the church in Rome is right on. Painfully so. But you have to walk through it yourself.
Do I still struggle from time to time with lost dreams and even depression? Yes, of course- and it may always be so until I die. But- and this is a big "but"- I can see how good God is for sustaining me and how He worked through difficult things to bring me a clearer view of life and to see how truly good He is.
If you wait and watch and pray, submitting yourselves fully to Jesus, you'll discover even if people let you down, even if your own brokenness and sin weigh you down, God can and will eventually bring you to a place of peace and brighter days.
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