Yesterday for the first time, I realized I am scared of what's ahead. fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of disappointing myself and my God. But my dependency on Him and my desire to please Him are thrusting me forward into new territory. Thankfully, I am learning that as long as I follow Him, I am in safe territory. Not that all will turn out well or that I'll always be safe. What I mean is this: since my future is found in Jesus, anything that happens to me between now and eternity is in his hands.
Grief for what was. I can't change the past. Oh how I wish I could! The failures, the doubt, the sin. I can't look backwards to point to anything positive except for the fact that I am forgiven and that I can learn from the mistakes of the past.
I can also look backwards and see the blessings. Even the unexpected hardships I've encountered can be added to the list. God's hand of goodness played out daily- and even found, as time goes by, in the midst of others' sins against me. What other god can promise that? NONE.
What about today? Well, I choose to again put my life in His hands. And I pray this prayer: "Lord Jesus, let me love you more than anyone or anything. I cannot make this happen on my own. It has to be a work you do in me. But do help me to hear your voice and be obedient to you as a sign of my growing love for you. And help me to focus on what you say is important versus what our world would tell me. "
May it be so.