Conquering Seasonal Depression

The seasonal blues, the Christmas depression, is much more common than we would want to admit. Especially as men. I've gone in and out of this most of my life. Yet, I've learned some tricks to help me conquer it and to keep going. Even as a follower of Jesus, we have to deal with real issues and cannot just act like they don't exist. If you struggle with depression, don't give up! Read on and be encouraged!

Thankfully, discussion about male depression is not as uncommon as it used to be.  We're freer than ever to be who we really are, and that's a good thing. Wintertime is the season where it is triggered in me big time, especially post holidays when life goes back to normal, and Spring seems far away. That said, I have a slight understanding of the ups and downs that can accompany the feeling of things not being 100% "right".

Although its less so than in years past, I have been constantly amazed by the general reluctance of the society and sometimes the faith community to discuss this very human condition. Yet, I have read two very interesting pieces in the New Testament where both the great Apostle Paul and even Jesus himself struggled with despair. Here's a quote from Paul written to the church in Corinth.

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we even despised of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened what we might not rely on ourselves, but on God,who raises the dead." (II Corinthians 1:8-9)

Jesus' words are even more important here, as He is God in the flesh: In the garden of Gethsemane before his crucifixion, he says to Peter, James and John, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death." (Matthew 26:38)

How much more direct and descriptive can that be?

Personally speaking, it's taken me years to accept the fluctuations that come in life. I've been trained in the Southern California mindset of "Always sunny and free all the time". But life is not like that- which is why I am also so against the prosperity teachers that can populate the Christian airwaves and bookstores. They are a distortion of the truth of who God is and His Word. 

How can I manage and even conquer life's ups and downs when leaning toward depression? A few things I have discovered: One, stay as far away from sin as possible! This will help you- realize that being tempted is NOT the same as sinning. There was something very, very  freeing in that realization. I can be tempted over and over again but I don't have to succumb. Jesus himself was tempted in every way, so I shouldn't feel bad when I'm tempted. Neither should you.

When I'm low, instead of looking toward the things that will seem to meet my needs in the moment but ultimately keep me addicted, I will ask for strength to avoid them. Why add to my problems by doing things I know will cause me to be more deeply depressed later? Be it excess food or alcohol, drugs, illicit sex, gambling, the internet, endless media binging, buying things I don't need etc, the actions which pacify our pain can also be the very ones that keep us captive instead of free. Pain can be a healthy sign that God is still working on my behalf, and there are things He wants to clean up for my own benefit.

Secondly, when my need feels great, when I am sad, or even when I am just craving what I know is ultimately destructive, I am training myself to see that as my clue I need more time with my heavenly father. Time for quiet reflection, prayer, worship, and reading my Bible can bring me back to a peaceful place. I've made the decision that my life belongs to Jesus, so why shouldn't I go right to Him when I know He can and will show tender care for me? He knows everything about me anyway- that's a scary thought at times- so I should look to Him and be 100% honest about where I'm at.

Lastly, I am developing a pattern of choosing to have a thankful heart. This is a choice and this is a battle for control of my thoughts. I am so blessed by God! Yet, how often do I long for more of everything and not be grateful for my life. It will never be perfect or free from want or conflict, so I might as well be as joyful, thankful and at peace as I can be. Again, the story is not over yet.

Years back, there was a brief season of a few months where I even took antidepressants on the advice of my doctor. That helped balance me out when I need it. Others need them as a long term part of their lives. If that's you, please consider it. God uses doctors to heal, too! Keep that in consideration if you struggle.

God is so faithful as we continue to look to Him for hope and strength. May my disclosure and insights help give those of you who struggle some ideas about how to live life well in the midst of difficulty.

Heaven Is Calling...

I posted this eulogy exactly two weeks ago on my Facebook page. I wasn't sure about publishing it here on Insights and Sounds (especially after sharing the passing of our puppy Alyeska), but Lohelani was such an important part of my life that I feel the need to honor her in whatever way I can...

Lohelani, which in Hawaiian means "to hear heaven's calling" was actually born in Honoka'a. Her owners were selling Lohe and her siblings out of a truck in the parking lot of the Parker Ranch shopping center. Having visited the Big Island regularly since 1987, it was inevitable that I would find my sweetheart in a place that is so special to me. I needed to purchase a small crate and an airline ticket to bring her back to Oahu, but her price tag of $25.00 made me feel like I got the deal of the century.

Lohe was super shy and she hid under the seat of the car rental all the way to Hilo. I stopped a couple of times on the road just to make sure she was okay. Back in Honolulu, the bargain puppy proved to be otherwise. I used my tax return to install an expensive wire fence to keep Lohe from uprooting my dad’s favorite plants. In the same week, she got stung by a bee giving her the look of a comical platypus (nothing a $300.00 vet visit couldn’t cure). Being a bachelor, Lohe and I spent much time and adventures together. On our first trip to the North Shore, the pup left a big pile of excrement on the back seat of my truck. It must have smelled bad to her too, because she came up front and stayed there for the entire drive. 

My girl took the arrival of a new woman to the house, my wife Sue, very well and somehow managed to transition into an inside house dog. She even took the arrival of puppy Juneau well, although the early adjustment period was tough for both of us. Being an only dog for the first seven years to having a little creature suddenly jumping on you every other minute was daunting. I slept on the kitchen floor the first night we brought home Juneau just so I could keep them apart. I remember going up to Lohe that night, kissing her on the head, and apologizing for bringing home another dog. She answered me with her soulful, quizzical eyes and the sound of silence. But I knew she would be a good sister to Juneau, and she was.

In the intervening years, Lohe was sometimes the neglected child due to Juneau being the princess of the family. She would defer to Juneau in all things, whether it be drinking from the water dish, or entering/exiting the house. One area Lohe still ruled was receiving hugs and treats from outsiders. Unlike Juneau, Lohe loved people and the attention.

In the past couple of years, Lohe began exhibiting lumps on her underside…fatty tissue that caused enormous swells. Although an exceptionally strong dog, the most recent surgery really took its toll on her health.

In late December (as most of my friends on FB know), Sue and I welcomed Sitka into our home. A rambunctious and rascally pup, Sitka immediately grew fond of Lohe and followed her around like the much revered older sister. I often wondered if Lohe thought to herself, "You're putting me up with another one of these things???" But as she was with Juneau, Lohe was extremely patient and enduring. Even in her declining health, she put up with lots of playful bites, jumping, and general annoyance that one expects from a puppy.



Lohelani went to sleep at 9:37 am on a Wednesday morning...having at last answered heaven’s call. She’s now young and healthy again, meeting her new sister Alyeska for the first time and getting a ton of treats and hugs!

There’s a debate I often hear among Christians about whether dogs (or any pet for that matter) go to heaven. The bible remains quiet on this subject, so anyone's guess is as good as mine. But I think it's incredibly clear to me that God, in His infinite wisdom, created dogs to bring a piece of heaven here to earth.

Until I next see you again my girl, always know how much happiness and love you brought into our lives...

Lohelani
Nov 2002 -Jan 2017

  (Photos Copyright 2017 Len Yokoyama)

Blurred Vision

In 100% honesty here, I cannot see what lies ahead for me. Totally stunned by the impact losing a job has on my mindset. Some days are peaceful, others are sad or filled with the stress of not knowing what is next. At times, I find myself angry- at others, at myself, at God who did allow this. Yet, where else can I go?

Digging myself into reading the Bible, I am in the book of Isaiah (and the Old Testament in general), and I am absorbing the reflections of a prophet who had seen it all. I'm reminded unexpectedly of God's provision and His plan, even when I cannot see what the future holds. In loss and gain, He has been faithful to me! Sometimes, it takes years before I understand. Or I may never, but I know without  doubt He loves me.

My emotions go up and down, the loss feels deep. Thankfully, my wife is supportive without a glitch. The truth remains: I need a job. I need an income, and I need a purpose. Yet, I have my faithful God.

"Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed, for his compassing never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those who hope in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD."  Lamentations 3:22-26

I yell. I cry. All before my God who knows what I am thinking and feeling before I do. My challenge is to not move too fast and to not say or do anything that would disrupt my relationships. I must choose to believe by walking this season out, that God knows what is best for me. It doesn't mean success in the eyes of man. It may mean a menial job for me. But it does mean that God desires to conform me to look like His Son Jesus. That is the journey of a believer who has totally given his life over to the Creator. It is the price of being a child of God. Time for this man who claims faith to watch it play out- even if my emotions tell me differently.