August 16, 2020

The High Price of Control (Control or Consent? Part One)

So far, I think it's safe to say that the year 2020 will go down in history. It' s a mess! Of course, our places of rest and relaxation, those wonder Disney Parks worldwide, have had problems opening at all (Disneyland), opening and closing (Hong Kong Disneyland) or have opened with a variety of restrictions, limited hours, and lessened experiences and adventures.  COVID-19, racial tensions all over the world (not just in the U.S.A., you know?), and wars, rumors of wars, and tension that is almost unbearable.


For someone like me, a control freak, these are difficult times! I like order, a sense of routine, and I like everything to make sense. At least that's what I say publicly. Honestly- I just like things the way I like them! In my home, in my work, in my life- my plans, my timing, my way! I don’t like others telling me what to do and how to do it- and honestly, you don’t either! 

This season of change, disease, conflict, turmoil, loss of freedoms, is hard to navigate! At times, I’ve been angry, fearful, defiant, frustrated, and even depressed- because I can’t get what I want! I’m more likely to speak and complain than I am to listen and to pray!  Are you like me?

Yet, when I stop and pray, read the Bible, and ask God to show me- and then wait- I catch glimpses of what He is doing! He's not surprised by any of this. And actually  He is in control. I’m blessed to be in His family and watch Him work through us who believe!

The Desire to Control is a core sin issue all the way back to the beginning, and Genesis 3 is wherein all began. Back in the Garden when we meet Adam and Eve, the first couple. As you'll see, the desire for control comes at a very high price. Higher than we ever want to pay!

Here's Genesis 3:1-5, but first a recap. God creates this stunningly beautiful and peaceful world and everything in it. He gives and and woman a great purpose, and He gives them honor, making them to be bearers of His image. There's no brokenness, no shame, no sin, no worries. All the couple has to do is rest, stay in relationship with God and enjoy all He created. Sounds great, right? Yes! Then unfortunately, Satan, the devil, one of the angels God created but who rebelled from Him, comes into the picture to destroy it all.

"1Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” 2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, 3 but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 

We want to control our circumstances- it's human nature and it goes all the way back to the beginning of time. This part of human history leaves me with some questions-

Was Eve right there in front of the tree when the serpent found her? Some scholars say she was! I doubt the serpent escorted her to the tree!

My bet is he waited until she was there in front of it. Just as God says to Cain (the guy who killed his brother in cold blood) in the next chapter, “Sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is contrary to (what’s best for) you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:7)


Then Satan, whose in the garden in the form of the serpent, waited until Eve's curiosity got the best of her- and it did, revealing her heart condition. Eve was fixated on what she couldn’t have instead of being thankful for what she did! Sounds like me. Does it ever sound like you? Always focused on what's missing in our lives. Man, we can have it all, and it can still be never enough. We fall so easily into Satan's trap. He's a lion waiting to pounce! Here's what it looks like.

Satan always waits for an opportune time to approach us. Are you at your weakest? This is when we know we need God, so Satan is not so obvious! He’ll wait until more time has gone on, when you begin to doubt God’s love and goodness. Then, temptation will come. Are you at a point of strength? Satan will wait until you begin to rely on yourself instead of on God. The enemy loves our pride! It makes temptation easier for us to dive right into.

You can be sure that Satan desires to remove our dependency on God by first making us doubt His Love and Goodness. He plays into our anger, fear, frustration and ego, making us think we know better or can do better. He knows God’s word - the Bible- (and even has correct theology!) but he wants to rule and keep others from knowing God's love and forgiveness which is offered to all through Jesus Christ. (See the Book of John in the New Testament, Chapter 3, verses 16 and 17.) Satan always includes a portion of truth in the mix to lead us to sin.

He plays with words to twist their meaning and then manipulates us with them. (People do this all the time. I hate it!) He asks the woman if God said they couldn’t eat of ANY tree in the Garden. Surely, he knew differently, but Satan wanted to make her doubt what she knew she’d heard from God. Once that happens, our desire to control plays right into his hands.

Ultimately, Satan always us offers the lie of getting something that seems good and satisfying to us but without God’s involvement. As if God will not give us all we need!  His approach is not always a direct afront or an easily recognized temptation. That’s usually too obvious! How can you tell? Well, Satan’s way usually offers a shortcut, a quick alternative to get what we want. Just a bit of compromise is all it takes. That white lie? That compromise of integrity? It doesn't take much to move us into that dangerous territory.

As we know, he tried this approach with Adam and Eve and it worked! He tries it with us and it works. Thankfully, he tried it with Jesus and it didn’t work! (Luke 4) Our God and our God alone triumphed over Satan's evil plan.

Satan takes advantage of our God-given free will. He'll try to play right into our control issues and the pride it reveals. Listen now - this is important- Our Enemy's goal is to get us to trade a living active relationship with God in order to gain His qualities. If we can think we will walk in control, knowledge, and power without having to be under God's authority, we are prime candidates to be deceived. 

Back to the Garden. Our human response is no better than Eve's. She tells the serpent we May not touch Tree of Knowledge of good and evil (vs 3). Perhaps with good intentions to 1- communicate the seriousness to the serpent or 2- she really just set that up as an additional boundary to help herself with obedience. If so, not a bad plan- but never is it as good as going right to God for our questions and for strength when tempted…or just trusting Him, believing He knows what’s best for us.

Our lust for power, our pride, our desire to control our lives happens so naturally that we may not even realize we are doing it. Our continual challenge is believing God and trusting Him. Going to Him vs. trusting in someone else's opinion or relying on our own strength- even when it doesn’t make sense to trust God! The truth is, the stronger our desire to live our own way, the deeper pride is anchored in us, weighing us down and pulling us toward eternal destruction.

Let's continue os in Genesis 3, verse 6 and 7:

"6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths."

Eve’s isolated, away from Adam, never calls out to God to check for truth before taking action. Was she trying to control the relationship? Adam never checks in with God either. Was he just wanting to fit in? What was that all about? Eve desires wisdom, so she eats of the forbidden fruit. Her desire for what seems good overrules her obedience to God. She may have had good intentions, but they come with disastrous results because God’s not the center! Our choices can certainly get us in trouble! And our sin never just affects us! Our internal voice : “It’s not fair”, “It’s not enough”, “My way is better” etc. everything around us echoes that. It is the song the world sings.

How many times do we jump into something we think is right for us and justify our choices, when we know deep down we may be disobeying God, hurting someone, or trying to just get what we want because we want it?  We may even fool ourselves and fool others, but we never fool God! Too often, when we get what we've fought for, even if its something good, it is far less satisfying than what God would have given us had we let Him work on our behalf. Do we have the faith to wait and to wait on Him?

Could it be we only trust any authority when we are the one's in charge? Ouch! That hits home for me, and I'm not proud of that! When we do it our way, we get the glory, not God! It may all look good, but it is not what God intended. What God intends for us is always better from an eternal perspective and often from a current one.

Back to Adam and Eve- So now we see the desire to control our circumstances doesn’t work in our favor!  What’s next?

On to Genesis 3, verses 8-13...

"8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” 11 He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” 12 The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” 13 Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Again, there’s a very high price for control – and it takes another form… We Want to Control Our Image! Notice in earlier verses, they sewed fig leaves to cover their nakedness (vs 7), and then Adam blames Eve (vs 12). Now- We have to deal with shame, fear, blame shifting, and a desire to run away from God instead of to Him!

Funny how human nature hasn’t changed at all! If we can’t control our circumstances, we’ll try to control how people see us! It’s not just our politicians, influencers, and activists that do this! It happens in entertainment and sports, in business, in education, in the church, in any group of people. I've fallen into that trap. Have you? It’s just easier on social media now, right? 

Think of how we choose to control our image- the image others have of us:
Always in control if not powerful 
We’re the authority in any circumstance- knowledgeable and wise- and full of false humility
Always happy, always self-reliant 

Image control is a form of manipulation. Ouch again!

The problem trying to control our image is we begin to believe our own press! And it's all a fantasy! Not being honest with ourselves about our sin, our motives, what truly drives us, what scares and worries us, keeping us isolated, lonely, broken, angry, fearful, depressed. Trying to control our image can keep us in bondage. I'd rather walk in freedom.


Ultimately, controlling our image creates a dishonest image, an illusion. It can be one  that drives others away. And if you are a follower in Jesus, it can keep those two don't yet know Him away from God due to our dishonesty.  When we live like those who don't know God, we play right into Satan’s ultimate goal- dividing people from God for eternity!

We may try to control our image, but God knows us intimately! Maybe this is why we’re reluctant to talk to Him? It can be difficult to deal with what is really in us. It’s easier to just read the Bible alone, than it is to read the Bible and take time to listen to the God who wrote it!

Genesis tells us it cost the whole human race a lot because of the sin of Adam and Eve. Verses 14- 23. 

"14 The Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field; on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. 15 I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.”
16 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.” 17 And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; 18 thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. 19 By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

Certainly dire consequences! (Notice- There’s consequences for sin, but God never curses the Marriage relationship!) Let's keep reading (Finally, there’s hope!):

"20 The man called his wife's name Eve, because she was the mother of all living. 21 And the Lord God made for Adam and for his wife garments of skins and clothed them. 22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of us in knowing good and evil. Now, lest he reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever—” 23 therefore the Lord God sent him out from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken.24 He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and a flaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life."

God’s love and faithfulness to us and His devotion to righteousness causes Him to make a sacrifice on our behalf. Something had to die on our behalf.  
  • This sacrifice is a foreshadowing of what Jesus will accomplish on the cross.
  • God restores the honor He created us with. And even now that we’re broken, we still have a place in his family.
  • We get to walk in freedom and forgiveness not in shame. By His blood, we are forgiven and made new!

From the very beginning, God does not treat us as we deserve!
“He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. “(Psalm 103:10)

So, let me ask you- Who is in Control?

Just like Adam and Eve, we can engage Satan without even realizing it!  
Focusing on what we don’t have / what we cannot do - instead of our blessings
Fixating on Temptation instead of fleeing from it.  
Placing our hope in something or someone other than the Lord
Throwing our weight around, trying to force people and situations to bend to what we think is best.
Believing the image of us that we present to others, being dishonest before God

Pursuing this path of control takes us places we never want to go!    It leads to:  
Loss of integrity- both how we view ourselves and how others see us
Loss of relationship as we force others to bend to what we think is best
Damage to our witness of Jesus to the outside world
Sacrifice of the good God intended
Control reflects Fear that God may not know best or fearthat He has forgotten us!
And Most importantly- We fail God by taking His place in our lives!


But we  can engage God in times like these and escape the trap!
When that temptation comes, acknowledge it and call out to God! (Temptation is not sin! Following through is sin.)
Develop a heart of thankfulness. Begin your day with thanksgiving.
Avoid isolation- get creative!
Keep our hope placed on Him- remember in this world we will have trials and tribulations. People will fail us!
Remain humble before Him- ask God to grow us in humility. 
Check our motives before we act and speak. Put away false humility! Use our words to encourage others, be honest with them, and not manipulate them.

As much as I’m a Control Freak, I also have a desire to please my Lord, seek His Heart, and Be About His purposes! Are you like me too? (Don't miss the last few paragraphs!)

This may or may not be the Final Quarter in the history of the world. But it’s clear that old things have passed away. Whether we like it or not, God is using this new season- and He needs His People to be his ambassadors in a world that is dying- with an eternity in Hell at risk for those who don’t know Him.

The truth is: This season doesn't cause our problems! It just reveals the core sin nature in us, and it comes to the surface!

It's time to start listening to what God says and to put away a life that is displeasing to Him.
Tired of taking control of your life? Tired of running from God who loves you? You may know Him or maybe not, but we all struggle here.
Are you needy and broken by sin- needing freedom and forgiveness?

If you know God and have given your life over to Jesus, maybe its time to do some business with Him. 

If you don't know Him, listen to Jesus' words:
“I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE, NO ONE COMES TO GOD THE FATHER BUT BY ME!" (John 14:6)

He wasn't being cruel! He was being loving by keeping it simple and direct. He knew other people and our enemy would want to confuse us. Jesus paid the price for your sin and for mine, and He died it our place. But He rose from the crucifixion to prove He is God. Will you trust Him and believe this is so? God is waiting to reveal Himself to you. Ask Him if this is true- and wait and listen for Him. He is calling you home!

No comments:

Post a Comment